[On the 2007 Malaysian Grand Prix]
Jeremy: ...and you put one in on Massa, didn't you?
Hamilton: Yeah, Massa and Kimi.
Jeremy: Was Kimi drunk?
Hamilton: I dunno - I should have asked him, actually, because he was really on the left - this was Malaysia and he was really on the left, so I could outbrake him.
Jeremy: [singing in slurred Finnish accent] "I win this race and then I go down pu-ub... Who pass me? Oh, that's that new boy gone past..."

[on the 911 series engine placement, behind the rear axle]
Richard: Now, technically, that's just wrong. It's like building a pyramid with the pointy bit at the bottom. It was a daft idea when they first did it 40 years ago, and on paper it still is today.
[...]
Richard: In the '70s and '80s, the 911 was the Grim Reaper's company car. Huge crowds would gather at roundabouts to watch fat stockbrokers climb trees in their Porsches.
[...]
Richard: Look, ma, I'm going sideways!
[...]
Richard: The engine's at the wrong end, yeah... so what? Sure, it's a flaw, but it's a flaw like Cindy Crawford's mole. J.Lo's enormous buttocks. It's become its defining feature. It's the whole point of the car. The GT3 is final and absolute proof that evolution works.

[on the Alfa-Romeo 159.]
James: Now, Alfa-Romeo has launched a replacement for its 156, which is called the 159.
Richard: Oh actually James, that was launched two years ago.
James: Yes it was, but we weren't paying attention.

[on the Alpina Z8]
Jeremy: It must be said, this looks just as good as the original, and it's just as left-hand-drive as the original. But: does it go any better? Well, after much careful deliberation, the simple answer is... no.
[...]
Jeremy: Getting it round a corner is like trying to get my wardrobe up a fire escape. It's very hard work, and it's hard to see where you're going.
[...]
Jeremy: This must be the first-ever tuned car that's slower than the original.

[on the approach the BMW M Division took when developing the Z4M]
Richard: So on this car, they've thrown out the fancy electronic power steering for a more old-fashioned system that they prefer. They've also got rid of those ridiculous run-flat tyres, and they've not messed about with any fancy gearboxes either. They've fitted it with a proper old-fashioned manual.
Richard: [voiceover] That is a set of confident decisions. So naturally, you'd be forgiven for approaching any corner with a similar amount of confidence.
[The Z4M nearly runs off the edge of the track in a corner]
Richard: [countersteering furiously] Whoa! Whoa! Understeer - ! [recovering control] ... Bloody hell! I was not expecting that.

[on the Aston Martin Rapide]
James: All this is yours for 140,000 pounds. Now that is quite a bit more expensive than Porsche's four-door, the Panamera, but, there are two very good reasons why you should choose the Aston Martin. Firstly, and unlike the Porsche, it does look rather magnificent. And secondly, most importantly, this is quintessentially British. Despite the fact that it's made in Austria. Which I think is in Germany.

[on the Aston Martin V8 Vantage]
Jeremy: I would rather be in this, than in Keira Knightley.
Richard: I wouldn't. (Shaking his head while the crowd laughs). I wouldn't.
[...]
James: And now the news: and this just in from Keira Knightley: She says she's disappointed but she understands.

[on the Audi Q5]
Richard: Hey Audi's bought a photocopier.
Jeremy: No!
[Richard goes on explaining the Q5, saying Audi put the Q7 and set it at 75%.]
Jeremy: Have your mum and dad got a photocopier.
[James laughs followed by the audience.]
Richard: Yes.. And it was stuck at 60%
Jeremy: [mocking] 60!?
Richard: Yes, all right! Moving on...

[on the Audi R8's handling]
Jeremy: Driving most supercars is like trying to man-handle a cow up a back staircase. But this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightley.

[on the Audi R8]
Jeremy: So, a Top Gear Top Tip: if you've been affected by the fuel crisis, this is the supercar to buy!

[on the Audi RS6]
Richard: I've got three options for the ride settings: sport, dynamic, or [comfort is shown on-screen] ... "James May".

[on the benefits of driving a decommissioned black cab in London]
Stephen: Other cabs let you in, you know - "cabaraderie", I call it.

[on the Bentley Continental GT]
Jeremy: There's no way the aristocracy is going to buy this car. I mean, these days they have to burn their children just to stay warm, and all their furniture's held together by the moths that ate it.
[...]
Jeremy: It's like doing 5000 miles an hour in Douglas Bader's sponge bag.
[criticising the armrests]
Jeremy: They are completely pointless. Speaking of which: this button here allows you to adjust the hardness of the suspension, like so. Why do you need that? Why would you want to make your Bentley more uncomfortable? It really is as useful as a snooze button on a smoke alarm.
[...]
Jeremy: The old four-door Arnage is a symphony of pomp and circumstance, hope and glory - absolute power corrupting absolutely. Oh, it isn't very good, but there's such a sense of occasion when you drive it. This is the other way round: brilliant, sensationally fast, handles beautifully, and it'll almost certainly be reliable. But it leaves you feeling... just a little bit cold.

[on the Bentley]
Jeremy: You probably think there's nothing to be scared of. You probably think you can handle it--like heroin. But look... I mean, I'm going 60 miles an hour--just a little cough [lets out a cartoonish cough] and we're doing 70... and then we're going 80... and now we're doing 90... I'm and starting to feel drowsy, 'cause it's so relaxing, as we go past 100, and 110 [trails off]... 130!

[on the Big Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that he's a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese... all we know is, he's not the Stig, but he is the Stig's American cousin!