Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8 Season 9 Season 10 Season 11 Season 12
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James: [Reading from the first challenge card] You must now imagine that you are 17...
Jeremy: Yes.
James: ...and modify your cars accordingly, in order to do what any 17-year-old boy wants to do: attract girls!
Richard: [Laughing at Jeremy] You've had it! Well look at your beige Volvo!
Jeremy: Just--get on...
James: [Continuing] Your budget is whatever you have left from your original £2,500.
Jeremy: [To James] So how much have you got?
James: 300 quid.
Jeremy: [To Richard] You?
Richard: 500 quid! You?
Jeremy: ...naught.
Jeremy: Yes.
James: ...and modify your cars accordingly, in order to do what any 17-year-old boy wants to do: attract girls!
Richard: [Laughing at Jeremy] You've had it! Well look at your beige Volvo!
Jeremy: Just--get on...
James: [Continuing] Your budget is whatever you have left from your original £2,500.
Jeremy: [To James] So how much have you got?
James: 300 quid.
Jeremy: [To Richard] You?
Richard: 500 quid! You?
Jeremy: ...naught.
James: Acceleration, not nationalisation - of the banks (although obviously it's easy to make a credible case for state ownership of other industries such as utilities)!
Richard: Catchy!
Richard: Catchy!
Jeremy: 2, 4, 6, 8, Jacqui Smith's husband likes to mast...I can't do that one...
Jeremy: [almost crashing into James May's Marina at the Val Thorens race] DON'T HIT HIM!! Morris extremists will come if I hit him!
Jeremy: Get off topic, just for a moment; you see, I was driving down here this morning and I couldn't help noticing that my Mercedes just said on the dashboard [puts on bad German accent] "your service is due in tventy-six days". [resumes normal voice] I just thought "How Germanic and boring is that?"
Richard: [whispering] ...and precise.
Jeremy: And then I was thinking "What's going to happen on the twenty-seventh day when inevitably I still haven't had it serviced?"
James: [in bad German accent] Cooler, sree veeks... Mezzr. Clarkson...
Richard: [whispering] ...and precise.
Jeremy: And then I was thinking "What's going to happen on the twenty-seventh day when inevitably I still haven't had it serviced?"
James: [in bad German accent] Cooler, sree veeks... Mezzr. Clarkson...
Jeremy: How many children said, "Dad, can we please go to the Goodwood Festival of Speed 'cause I really wanna see a zero-emission Renault van"?
Richard: Yes, how many of those kids went back to school the next day, "Did you see the chrome-plated Bugatti?" "No, but I saw a Renault van with green windows! Yeah!"
Richard: Yes, how many of those kids went back to school the next day, "Did you see the chrome-plated Bugatti?" "No, but I saw a Renault van with green windows! Yeah!"
Jeremy: Now, eh as I'm sure you know, we don't often do consumer advice on this show, but tonight, we are. Because you see, if you were in a market, for large, fast, spacious, executive saloon cars, you'd imagine, that you'll be spoiled for choice. Me too. However, Richard Hammond, who is quite mad, has decided that every single one of them has a fatal flaw.
Jeremy: Ten minutes later, we roared into the first corner [Jeremy, James and Richard creep slowly into view]
Jeremy: Tonight! I wear some goggles. Richard falls down a small slope. And James says "Hello" to a man!
Jeremy: Tonight, Richard has a crisis. Some sheep on our track. And James and I go to the lavatory.
Jeremy: Tonight. The fastest man in the world on our track. The slowest man in the world falls asleep. And we literally set fire to Dorset with a machine gun.
Jeremy: Tonight. We save the entire world. We test a fat spaniel from Jaguar. And we annoy France's second best racing driver.
Jeremy: Tonight. We shout at the government. A man drives a Subaru through a building. And a dog goes in a car.