James: [voiceover] So it looks fantastic and it sounds fantastic, and that's what matters when you're 15 and dreaming. But I'm not 15 any more, and after an hour at the wheel in 2003, my dream car turns out to be a bit of a nightmare.
James: It never occurred to me, for example, that I'd need a hammer to change gear. Or that depressing the clutch pedal would be a lot easier if I got a friend to help me. It's absolutely baking hot in here - look, I've got the window fully open [puts fingers through tiny slot of driver's window] - and there's also a really alarming smell of petrol.

James: But on a small hatchback, OK, when you drive one of those and it's a diesel, it says three things about you. One is, you're tighter than two coats of paint. The second is that you care so much about the environment that you want to leave a little protective sooty film over it. And the third one is, you're probably French.
Jeremy: I've suddenly remembered why I don't like talking to you.

James: God in Heaven, this is hard work.

James: Have a look at this, this is our - Jeremy's - bar bill from the Isle of Man trip. [allows large stack of fanfold printer paper to fall to the floor] That's a huge number of fruit-based drinks.

James: I quite like this 1.2-litre engine, it's sort of feisty and eager. Makes a great deal of fuss without really achieving very much. Bit like the Italian government, really.

James: I'm absolutely gutted. But you know what, it's not the car's fault, it's mine. I've broken a golden rule: You never, ever meet your childhood heroes.

James: If I could only have one drink for the rest of my life, it would be a pint of bitter. And if I could only drive one supercar, it would be this: the Aston Martin Vantage.

James: In 1979 in Britain, the BMW M1 cost about £35,000, which sounds very reasonable. Until you discover that the Ferrari 308 GTS was less than 20 grand. And here's another thing, look. [raps on door panel] GRP, or plastic to you - on a BMW. How much worse could it get? Well, while the car was being designed, the rules for sports racing cars were changed, so by the time it came out, it wasn't competitive anyway. What a farce.

James: In order to understand the impact of the Vantage, I want you to imagine a simple scene down your local boozer. Now, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, Porsche, all that lot - they're the blokes round the bar with the big opinions. Giving it lots of that. [mimes talking] Aston Martin is the quiet bloke in the corner, with his pint of best and the crossword. And then, suddenly, he decides he's had enough. So he gets up, he takes them all outside, and he gives them a bloody good hiding.

James: Now, you'll be able to buy a basic 1.1-litre Panda for £6000. £6000! This, however, is the 1.2-litre Dynamic. This is a posh Panda. But it's still only six thousand, five hundred pounds. Six and a half grand. And it's a whole car!

James: Obviously, driving a convertible yellow Porsche raises certain sociological issues. I mean, some people are going to look at me, I know, and think I'm a merchant banker.

James: Right, the Italians. What have they ever done for us?

James: Say you wanted to bang in a nail. You could belt it really hard with a little hammer, or you could give it a tap with a really big one. The Aston's engine is a sledgehammer.

James: St. Albans. The Romans came here in 43 and built some nice ruins.

James: The British toff: though rare and endangered, they are easy to identify. They are most readily spotted in the countryside, because they own it. Distinguishing features include their clothing, which used to belong to their parents, and their characteristic mating call of "Harrumph."