James: [Commenting on the Audi A4 convertible] No, it's just not right. A diesel cabrio is like a supermodel smoking a pipe.

James: [On his Bentley T2] I've got furniture that handles better than this thing!

James: [reviewing a Perodua Kelisa] This [holds up crotch close to camera] is a bacon sausage. And this [undoes zipper] is a car.

James: I have to say I'm very disappointed in it, because when I joined Top Gear I thought, "Here we go. French film festival, Kristin... " No. I've been invited to the opening of a car park. And it says, "Yes please, I would like to come to the opening of the car park. I will be arriving, A, by car; B, on foot."

James: I like luxury. It's the new performance.
[...]
Jeremy: Now this is what I call shock and awe.

James: It's a terrible shame Jeremy didn't like the 350Z - I wondered if he might be interested in the 350Z watch. It's a very large watch with a very small face. What do you think of that?
Jeremy: It'll probably go TICK TOCK! TIIIICK TOCK and be very heavy.

James: Now for some more trouser action.

James: Right, the news, and we begin today with a, well, probably the best piece of news I've ever heard since I was born. An event, in fact, which eclipses the very miracle of my birth.
Richard: Hang on, the best piece of news you've ever heard ever?
Jeremy: What is it?
James: [beaming] They're going to stop making the Beetle.
Richard: And that's it.
James: That is fantastic. No, the old one. They're still making it until the 30th of July and then it stops forever.
Richard: And why is that so good?
Jeremy: Why do you hate it so much?
James: Do you really want me to do it?
Jeremy: Well, no, just... I can't imagine...
James: OK. It's a rubbish car.
Richard: That's incisive.
James: That's the first thing, it's a rubbish car. Secondly, it was a scandal. OK? That car was stolen from a Czech bloke called Ledwinka, I think, by Hitler and his henchmen, they put it into production, they stole money off the German people to build it and to build a factory, they never got a car, instead they used the factory and slave Russian labor from the Eastern front -
Jeremy: You can't blame a car for Hitler!

James: This is a true story and I am ashamed of it. I was driving along, Ford Galaxy, magnolia leather, curry on the passenger seat. A drunk bloke walked into the road. Instinctively, I braked. I saw the curry tip, I thought, "That's my dinner," I not only took my foot off the brake, I put it back on the throttle! Anyway, if anyone here is interested, I've developed a special new car sticker that says BHUNA ON BOARD.

James: What we want in Britain is a convertible car for sunny days, and a hardtop for the other 364.

James: What would you say if I said, Perodua Kelisa?
Richard: Made In China.

Jeremy: [After stopping at John o'Groats at the end of the XJR test] Oh dear, I seem to have run out of country.

Jeremy: [whilst driving a Segway] They're made in America, of course, so that fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy.

Jeremy: And round at the front, things get even more... German.

Jeremy: Apparently, Piƫch insisted that you should be able to drive the Phaeton all day at 186 miles an hour, when it's 120 degrees outside, and the air conditioning must be able to maintain a temperature in the car of 71.6 degrees. My! I bet he was fun to go out with of an evening.