Jeremy: First thing I do when I move into a new flat or a new house, forget the curtains and the carpets and the cooker - you get your television, your stereo, and your PlayStation up and running. It's why I understand this car. It's perfectly reasonable to have a fridge-cum-DVD player instead of a seat. It's the obvious thing to do. It's fantastic!
Jeremy: [voiceover] Mumsy cars have lots of seats and are as sensible as big knickers, but this has lots of gadgets. So it's the world's first dadsy car.

Jeremy: For the last few years, the DB7's been an aging rocker, still trying to cut it in a Coldplay MP3 world of Porsche 911s and foo-fighter Ferraris. But now, thanks to a cocktail of Botox and Viagra, it's up there with the best of them.

Jeremy: How did you find the car?
Patrick: Ordinary.

Jeremy: I could go very, very berserk at this point. But - two things are stopping me. One, the noise. It's driving me mad. And secondly, it was on this very road that the drummer with a band called Def Leppard crashed his muscle car, a Corvette, and as a result of that he now has to drive with a knob on his steering wheel.

Jeremy: I had a good one with Daihatsu. They once flew me first-class, before I was working for the BBC, they flew me first-class all the way to Japan, via Hong Kong, and then back through Maui and San Francisco. And I arrived in Japan to drive their new Charade - this was, oh, I don't know, late '80s. I did half a lap of the track and crashed it!
Richard: Oh, well done! Well done!
Jeremy: And the guy said, "Oh, don't worry. We make one every 23 seconds."

Jeremy: I have three donkeys at home.
Jodie Kidd: Do you?
Jeremy: Geoffrey, Eddie, and Kristin Scott Donkey. I do! I adore my donkeys. They are my life, they're everything. I just think they're fantastic.
Jodie: Very noisy.
Jeremy: Depends what you do to them.

Jeremy: I'm now playing what I like to call Fuel Light Bingo. The rules are very simple. You let the fuel light come on; then you let the needle go all the way through the red until it's bent like that [holds up crooked finger] round the bottom of the gauge. Then, when you see a sign saying "services 1 mile and 27 miles", go for the furthest one away, and when you get there, go past that one too. If you win, you make it home, the next day your wife drives the car, and she fills it up for you. I think it's a great game! My wife doesn't like it very much, but I think it's brilliant. If you lose, you run out of petrol.

Jeremy: I've got a report here from the Observer. "Drivers are facing the biggest revolution in the history of British motoring." ... It's the Lexus again, it's changed everything.

Jeremy: If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you've seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.
Series 3

Jeremy: It's in the script I should argue with you, but I'm not going to because I love that car. Anyway, that's it for this evening, and--
Richard: Actually, no it's not, that isn't it, because--
Jeremy: It seems the Driving God has more to say, at this point. What is it, Driving God?
Richard: Things I wish I'd never said...

Jeremy: It's the trouble, brothers and sisters - they're all related.

Jeremy: Let's try Radio 4.
Melvyn Bragg: [on the radio] Society has not always valued originality.
Jeremy: Ooh, it's Melvyn Bragg's philosophy show.
Melvyn: To what extent is originality about perception, rather than conception? And is originality a concept without meaning today?
Jeremy: I'm not quite with you there, Melvyn. I... I don't really understand the question.

Jeremy: Listen, I want to play a game with you, okay? This Countdown thing, okay? This rearranging letters, yes? [Points to a bloke in an FCUK shirt] What do you reckon? Got any ideas on that one?
Whiteley: I'm short-sighted. I can't see that, thank goodness!

Jeremy: Now as I understand it you still hold the world record for being sent off in a game of football, don't you? Cause it's five seconds wasn't it?
Vinnie: Yeah, this was... I ran on and it was like a minute.
Jeremy: No, you've done it in five seconds, that's quicker than a minute.
Vinnie: Well no, 'bout a second actually. Mostly came on...
Jeremy: One second?
Vinnie: Yeah.
Jeremy: See, I'm intrigued, not being a footballist I have to admit, how do you reach an opposing player to commit some kind of atrocity in that time?

Jeremy: Right, the news! And, um, we're feeling a bit remiss this week, because we like to think on Top Gear we're across what's happening in the world of cars, and then out of the blue, Ford wrote to us and said, "We're introducing a new Mondeo." We didn't know it was coming! Who'd like to see it?
Richard: Yeah!
Jeremy: OK. Here it is.
Richard: ... That's the old Mondeo.
Jeremy: No, that's the new Mondeo. They say it's got 1500 new parts!
Richard: Yes, presumably they're all exactly the same shape as the old parts, so it looks exactly the same.
James: It's got a new radio, hasn't it.
Jeremy: It has got a new radio.
James: Well, there's hundreds of bits in that.