Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8 Season 9 Season 10 Season 11 Season 12 Season 13 Season 14
Season 15
Season 16
Season 17
Season 18
James: [voiceover] Because my car didn't catch fire, Jeremy got bored and became a yobbo.
Jeremy: How do you get the arse to kick out on this thing?
Jeremy: How do you get the arse to kick out on this thing?
James: Hey! Good news! No, I have secured some top secret film taken inside the factory of the new Dacia Duster being made.
Jeremy: Excellent! Excellent! [quickly] anyway..
Jeremy: Excellent! Excellent! [quickly] anyway..
James: This burst of acceleration could decide who goes on American television!
Series 16
Series 16
Jeremy: [high-fiving the lady] High-five! [high-fiving the mayor] Never high-fived a mayor before.
Right, chaps! Little drive. And I solemnly promised, with my hand in the air, that we'd wouldn't go fast.
Jeremy: [voiceover] Sadly, though, we forgot.
Right, chaps! Little drive. And I solemnly promised, with my hand in the air, that we'd wouldn't go fast.
Jeremy: [voiceover] Sadly, though, we forgot.
Jeremy: [lifts the Citroen's bonnet] Holy moley! What manner of terrible thing has happened under my bonnet? It's actually had diarrhoea, is what's happened here.
Jeremy: [on the TV studio's identity] Could be Good Morning America. That is a big show. Hammond will be desperate to get there first. Because ever since he was a fetus, he's been destined to appear on American television. With his teeth and his hair and everything.
Jeremy: [reading from the card] At this racetrack you can do so much more than race your car. You can also, for instance, learn... Learn how to do a drive-by shooting.
Jeremy: [voiceover, with the scene showing Richard Hammond driving very slowly] This had a dramatic effect on the way Hammond drove.
Richard:(slowly) 6? I don't know how you could score less. Would have to have, like, wheels missing. Or a tiger in it.
Jeremy:(mimicking the opening sequence) Tonight, on first gear. Richard Hammond drives across Germany in a deathtrap.
Richard:(slowly) 6? I don't know how you could score less. Would have to have, like, wheels missing. Or a tiger in it.
Jeremy:(mimicking the opening sequence) Tonight, on first gear. Richard Hammond drives across Germany in a deathtrap.
Jeremy: Ah, now, Rich, would you like some pussy? [laughter]
James: [looking enthused] Well, do I certainly..
Richard: [looking confused] Well, it wasn't on my mind right now, it is now. I... Eh?
Jeremy: Pussy, energy drink. [showing off the canned drink]
Richard: [laughing] I see! I did wonder.
James: What flavour is it?
Jeremy: Flavour?
Richard: Leave it! Leave it!
James: Steady on, man. Leave it!
James: [looking enthused] Well, do I certainly..
Richard: [looking confused] Well, it wasn't on my mind right now, it is now. I... Eh?
Jeremy: Pussy, energy drink. [showing off the canned drink]
Richard: [laughing] I see! I did wonder.
James: What flavour is it?
Jeremy: Flavour?
Richard: Leave it! Leave it!
James: Steady on, man. Leave it!
Jeremy: Can I just say how nice it is to be the elder statesman here with the grown-up car?
Richard: With those doors? "Look at me, I'm an eagle and I'm here!" Can you get an optional extra where you hit a button and CO2 flows out as you get out in a Darth Vader costume?
Richard: With those doors? "Look at me, I'm an eagle and I'm here!" Can you get an optional extra where you hit a button and CO2 flows out as you get out in a Darth Vader costume?
Jeremy: Come on, I'm the tallest thing here.
Richard: It's not as bad as you think actually!
Jeremy: I'm trying to be killed by lightning!
Richard: What?
Jeremy: I'm trying to be killed by lightning!
Richard: Sorry?
Jeremy: ... Are you deaf?!
Richard: Sorry?
Richard: It's not as bad as you think actually!
Jeremy: I'm trying to be killed by lightning!
Richard: What?
Jeremy: I'm trying to be killed by lightning!
Richard: Sorry?
Jeremy: ... Are you deaf?!
Richard: Sorry?
Jeremy: Hammond, what is it that happens you drive a Ferrari 458 very fast -- on a hot day?
Richard: I believe it catches fire.
James: Yeah, yeah, only a few have caught fire.
Richard: I believe it catches fire.
James: Yeah, yeah, only a few have caught fire.
Jeremy: Sitrep. Don't like driving my Citroen, don't like sleeping in my Citroen, almost certainly won't like cooking in it either.