Jason: ...and the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car...
Jeremy: Yeah...
Jason: ...in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Jeremy: [to a young woman on the street] What have you got for a price of a Vanquish, then...? That house there?
Young Woman: Mmm-hmm
Jeremy: Detached house: three bedrooms; lounge, whatever one of those is... three bedroom house, for about the same as the Aston. Would you rather have that house or that car.
Young Woman: The car.
Jeremy: Good girl.

Jeremy: I got a ticket the other day, and I kid you not, for being parked badly. Since when did it become like ice skating? Where they're all standing there, well, no, I don't think that is well parked, 4 out of... and only 3 from the Nigerian judge!

Jeremy: No, you see I had one last week: Boxster S, new car, fantastic really, the most beautifully balanced... I felt like a prat.

Jeremy: Now you said to me before we went out, you said, "Can you roll it," and I said "No no!"
Michael Gambon: No, I didn't mean--I thought, "would it roll?"
Jeremy: Well, yes, plainly all the evidence...

Jeremy: One of these days, he's gonna kill himself and we're gonna need a new Stig.

Jeremy: The star we have tonight in our reasonably-priced car may look like a boy, but he is, in fact, called Tara. And that, I suppose, makes him a girl.

Jeremy: Used to live in Fulham right next to the car pound in London. so you could drive up the west end, have a few drinks, leave the car, wobble home best way you could, wake up in the morning, they've towed it home for you. It was pricy, but kind of worth it.

Jeremy: While we're on the subject of parking, I, um... you know where we nail this program together, it's in the middle of London, okay, there's a multi-storey car park next door, two hours: £9 in there. So if you're two hours and five minutes, eighteen quid. Well, I went into Oxford last weekend, parked on double-yellow lines, right outside where I wanted to be, okay? Took the children out for lunch, went to see James Bond, got back five hours later... twenty quid parking ticket. That's pretty reasonable!

[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: In tonight's show: a supercar from a shed in Leicestershire; a rock star in our Reasonably-Priced car; and how many bikes can you jump with a bus.

[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: In tonight's show: Grannies doing Doughnuts; is the new Mini any good?; Ultimate Force in our Reasonably-Priced car; and the bed spring with a bike engine takes on the Zonda around our track.

[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: In tonight's Top Gear: A Knight in our reasonably priced car; Maserati's new coupe takes on our track; and lock out your door mirrors: we set out to find Britain's fastest white van driver.

[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: In tonight's Top Gear: Evidence that the French have gone mad; evidence that the Germans have gone mad; and as an oasis of sanity, the grannies are back!

[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: In tonight's Top Gear: rock star in our reasonably priced car; I learn how to drive a Lotus Elise properly; and it's religious racing as we find the fastest faith.

[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: In tonight's top gear: The Mick Jagger of supercars; our quest goes on to find Britain's fastest faith; and the Stig sorts out TVR's new coupe.