[After Richard is "abducted" by an elderly fan in a neighbouring caravan]
James: What's Hammond doing with the dog?
Jeremy: The dog went in with him.
James: Really?
Jeremy: Him and the dog and the biggish woman are in a caravan.

[after the amphibious car challenge]
Jeremy: It's a fair victory. It's not like I'm a sore loser or anything... it's just that, for going home tonight, James won't be using the Herald [points to the Triumph Herald] because the clutch has gone. Richard won't be using that [points to the "Dampervan"] because it was ruined in the accident. Whereas, because I bought a Hilux [points at Toybota] - and, as we know, from here [indicates the Hilux] - they are indestructible, I shall be driving this home! So, um...
Richard: Yes, alright.
Jeremy: Yes, thank you all very much for watching. It's been a...[Clarkson gets in and tries to start it, but fails, to much ridicule from Hammond and May]
Richard: Oh ha ha ha! You have broken the 'indestructible'... ha ha ha. It's not working.
[Richard and James listen to the engine]

[at the Caterham challenge]
Jeremy: I am going as the crow flies. I am a Stig.

[at the end of the "cottage" lap]
Richard: D'you know what? This is rubbish.
James: Terrible.

[At the safari park in their convertible people carrier, watching two lions mate]
Richard: [Voiceover] Fortunately, the lions had other things on their minds.
Jeremy: Oh, look what's going on.
James: Oh no, he's...
Richard: Oh, that's... lion porn!
Jeremy: What are you doing, man?
Richard: What if he tries to do that to us?

[Discussing 20p organic crisps]
Jeremy: You see the thing is this, if you buy those crisps, the 20p goes to the Mexican sewage industry but if you buy petrol, the money goes to the government who spend it letting out foreign prisoners so they can stab people.
[Laughter, Hammond with his head in his hands, large applause]

[Discussing the cottage design of the Mercedes S Class to the French designer]
Jeremy: We'll try it my way... and then we'll finish it. [walks away quickly]

[During the Cool Wall, talking about the Koenigsegg CCX.]
Jeremy: If you go though the Pearly Gates, backwards, in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!
Richard: I love that vision of just blasting through the gates, backwards, in a flaming Swedish supercar! "Yes! I'm here! Where are the women?"

[During the news, James suggests the Daihatsu Copen]
Richard: You would look such a spanner in that!
James: No I wouldn't!
Richard: Yes you would, because you'd be sticking up above up with your big floppy hair like a spaniel. Never, ever, ever, ever buy a car which you are taller than, when you're sitting in it, than it is long. You'll look like Noddy with bad hair!

[during the news, talking about the Audi RS4 convertible]
Jeremy: Listen, but Uma Thurman's got big hands, you're not going to say "get out of my house," are you?
James: Yes.
Richard: Because she's got big hands?
James: I don't like girls with big hands.
Jeremy: Why don't you like girls with big hands?
James: Well it just looks wrong, doesn't it? You get a woman with big hands that goes, "Hi James, I'm Uma!'" [exaggerates big hand movements]

[during the news, while talking about Top Gear Dog's new "doggles"]
James: Those aren't doggles, they're goggles with the G crossed out and replaced with a D.

[during the news]
James: [Talking about digital displays on the sides of roads] Those displays aren't always true, like the microwave in my mate's kitchen. It says "Enjoy your meal" when you get something out. But I won't if it's my pants...
[The other two start ridiculing him for supposedly having no pants on in his mate's kitchen]

[during the news]
James: The only thing I keep in my car is a little paintbrush for cleaning dust out of the switches.
Richard: You're scaring me, mate...
James: And I always like to have the air vents lined up so they're really completely symmetrical.
Richard: Stop talking now!
James: And if anybody moves them... I get really angry.
Richard: (to Jeremy) Does genuinely scare me.

[during the news]
James: To test for speed, they'd have to give the driver a Hoover.
Richard: Eh?
James: You know when you're at a big party, at the end of it everybody's asleep, the bloke who's on speed is always hoovering.
Jeremy: The rock and roll years, with James May!

[During the news]
Jeremy: I had a family outing this week, in my Ford GT! Took my son to the Fairford Air Show in Gloucestershire.
Richard: And?
Jeremy: It's still there. [laughter] Rev limiter decided that it didn't want to let the engine rev beyond six hundred rpm. Which isn't much.