Top Gear quotes
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Richard: And after Jeremy's frankly useless efforts were put on the television, a Scottish lady called Jackie Stewart wrote to us saying that she could get any one of us, to any race track in the country, in any car, get us to set our best time, and then she could get us to knock twenty seconds off that time.
Jeremy: He. It's a he. Jackie Stewart's a he.
Richard: Right-o.
Jeremy: Anyway, we decided to accept his challenge and we sent him the most difficult pupil of them all... him. [Jeremy points to James May]
Jeremy: He. It's a he. Jackie Stewart's a he.
Richard: Right-o.
Jeremy: Anyway, we decided to accept his challenge and we sent him the most difficult pupil of them all... him. [Jeremy points to James May]
Richard: And, then, inside, it's the usual blend of dead animal and rainforest, but with a twist!
Richard: If I was in a TVR, now, the indicators would be on the ceiling and the switches would be made of kryptonite and the doors would open inwards on a dodecahedral hinge. But no! If I pull up in a Noble, the door is just a door, that opens sort of... doorishly!
Richard: Jeremy?
Jeremy: Yes?
Richard: I've come up with a problem.
[realising Richard's bucket has holes in it]
Jeremy: You have... you owe me a million pounds!
Jeremy: Yes?
Richard: I've come up with a problem.
[realising Richard's bucket has holes in it]
Jeremy: You have... you owe me a million pounds!
Richard: Meanwhile, my lack of power was becoming an issue.
[The campervan makes rusty noises]
[The campervan makes rusty noises]
Richard: No!! Not now...
[Richard tries to start the campervan, just as Jeremy starts to pull away in his Hilux]
[Richard tries to start the campervan, just as Jeremy starts to pull away in his Hilux]
Richard: Now, the previous Noble, the M12, was a real "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" punch in the back.
Richard: Oh no, Jeremy it's worse... over there. That's not a sign you ever want to read on your holiday. [points to a sign that reads: "Toilet Chemical Disposal Only"]
Richard: Ow!
Jeremy: Was that your finger?
Richard: [singsong voice] There's gonna be swearing!
Jeremy: Was that your finger?
Richard: [singsong voice] There's gonna be swearing!
[About the Koenigsegg CCX]
Jeremy: Oh. And I'll give you a little tip: If you tune this engine to run on environmentally-friendly biofuel, you'll be getting nine hundred brake horsepower. [laughs] Should I get Bill Oddie one of these?
Jeremy: Oh. And I'll give you a little tip: If you tune this engine to run on environmentally-friendly biofuel, you'll be getting nine hundred brake horsepower. [laughs] Should I get Bill Oddie one of these?
[About the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder Convertible]
Jeremy: There are faults. The steering wheel for instance, is covered in a bath mat. And if you push the seat all the way back, as I have to, it squeaks, against the firewall. Can you hear that? Does that the whole time you're driving along. And, you can never find the seat belt. I DON'T CARE!!!
Jeremy: You can try to drive it quietly if you want to, but it's impossible, because if you accidentally stray over 3500 rpm you just get this sort of... bark, of that. [Stepping on the gas] You hear that? Quiet... Bark! AAARRR!
Jeremy: There are faults. The steering wheel for instance, is covered in a bath mat. And if you push the seat all the way back, as I have to, it squeaks, against the firewall. Can you hear that? Does that the whole time you're driving along. And, you can never find the seat belt. I DON'T CARE!!!
Jeremy: You can try to drive it quietly if you want to, but it's impossible, because if you accidentally stray over 3500 rpm you just get this sort of... bark, of that. [Stepping on the gas] You hear that? Quiet... Bark! AAARRR!
[after being drenched in the motor wash from Jeremy's borrowed powerboat]
James: You utter pirate!
James: You utter pirate!
[After receiving a text, ostensibly a reply from Kristin Scott Thomas]
Jeremy: It says, "You know about the restraining order, that includes texts. I've called the poo lice!" [He looks nervous]
Jeremy: It says, "You know about the restraining order, that includes texts. I've called the poo lice!" [He looks nervous]