Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7
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Jeremy: [peeking in the caravan after they park up] Ohh... [seeing shattered dishes on the floor] Oh no.
Richard: Ooh!
James: Oh, dear.
Richard: [laughing] Oh, my word. Wha...
[the caravan tips back as they all enter]
All: Woah!
Jeremy: Oh my God!
James: You've got to put the legs down first.
Richard: We're not brilliant at this are we?
Richard: Ooh!
James: Oh, dear.
Richard: [laughing] Oh, my word. Wha...
[the caravan tips back as they all enter]
All: Woah!
Jeremy: Oh my God!
James: You've got to put the legs down first.
Richard: We're not brilliant at this are we?
Jeremy: [To Richard] I've just had a really good idea! Why don't you shut up? And why don't you tell the all the ladies and gentlemen, with your Tippex teeth, about the car that you've been driving that I haven't.
Jeremy: [to the Mercedes S-Class onboard computer] Station: Radio 2. [It retunes to Radio 2] And it goes to Radio 2. Or, Station: absolute rubbish. [It retunes to Radio 1] Look! Radio 1! It knows! How brilliant's that?
Jeremy: [upon being unable to break into Richard's Suzuki Super Carry] Why don't you just pick the van up and put it in your pocket?
Jeremy: [upon seeing the size of the van James had bought] James, are you filming with us today or are you moving house?
Jeremy: [voiceover, on the Citroën CX] Trying to drive this car through a town was like trying to wire a plug while wearing boxing gloves. It was always going to end in tears.
Jeremy: [voiceover] ...and so in the spirit of Top Gear comradeship... we left James behind.
Jeremy: [voiceover] Meanwhile, back at the convoy...
[Richard's campervan suddenly stalls at a road junction]
[Richard's campervan suddenly stalls at a road junction]
Jeremy: [voiceover] The Stig was now on the M40 and had the hammer down. I, too, had put my hammer down, and picked up a spanner! And something was bound to go wrong.
Jeremy: After we'd finished, the people at Caterham put a plaque on our car, can you see that? [We see a plaque reading "Built by Top Gear"] Which has rendered this car absolutely worthless.
Jeremy: Can I just say guys, I've got a king sized bed at home.
Richard: I like it.
James: I like it. It's nice... it's homey.
Richard: No, I'm alright with caravanning!
[A train is heard in the distance]
Jeremy: Oh good, a train!
Richard: Nice, that's nice.
Jeremy: Listen. How often is that gonna happen all night?
James: It's alright. It's romantic.
Richard: Don't say things like that! I'm on the same bed as you!
Richard: I like it.
James: I like it. It's nice... it's homey.
Richard: No, I'm alright with caravanning!
[A train is heard in the distance]
Jeremy: Oh good, a train!
Richard: Nice, that's nice.
Jeremy: Listen. How often is that gonna happen all night?
James: It's alright. It's romantic.
Richard: Don't say things like that! I'm on the same bed as you!
Jeremy: Chaps.
James: Yes?
Jeremy: There's a list of essential accessories.
James: Ok, let's see if we've got them.
Jeremy: Step?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Water container?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Mains hook up lead?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Leisure battery?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Gas cylinders?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Towing mirrors?
All: YES!
Jeremy: We could be gypsies.
James: Yes?
Jeremy: There's a list of essential accessories.
James: Ok, let's see if we've got them.
Jeremy: Step?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Water container?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Mains hook up lead?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Leisure battery?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Gas cylinders?
Richard: No.
Jeremy: Towing mirrors?
All: YES!
Jeremy: We could be gypsies.
Jeremy: Hammond, how much?
Richard: For what?
Jeremy: A lift.
Richard: I'll give you a million quid, or this bucket.
Richard: For what?
Jeremy: A lift.
Richard: I'll give you a million quid, or this bucket.