James: OK, here we are with the sitting down news, which comes from Subaru who are arranging a series of track days for £250. You can go the Prodrive test track and thrash around in an Impreza or one of those bigger one whose name is - um -
Jeremy and Richard: Legacy.
James: Legacy, that's the one! Um, there's only a few conditions: you have to be eighteen years or over, you have to have had a full driving license for over a year... ooh, and you have to be between 5 foot 2 and 6 foot 7, so that's you two out. Excellent. [Laughter]
Jeremy: That's "heightist" frankly.
Richard: Yeah, that's "heightist."
James: I can't think of a better recommendation actually.
Jeremy: What?
Richard: Us not being able to do it?
James: Exactly, I'll be going, I'll see you there.

James: This car feels really odd.
Jeremy: James, it--what's a Kia C--
Richard: Thingy.
Jeremy: Soprano, Sudoku... It's not a good car.

James: Yes, it's the Mercedes B-class! Keen students of the alphabet will probably have worked out already that this is one up from the A-class.

James: You should feel it go stiff now.
Jeremy: Pump, man! Pump! Braking happening?
Richard: Oh, yeah, that's much better. That's hard.

Jenson Button: I like to enjoy myself as we all do.
Jeremy: [interrupting] So you get a lot of sex.
Jenson: Probably more than you, Jeremy, yes.

Jeremy: (about a Ford Mustang going head-to-head against a Lotus Exige S) "It's got a 4.6 litre 300bhp V8 at the front, rear-wheel drive at the back, and a Stig in the middle."
Jeremy: (about the Exige S, a few seconds later) "And he's lined up alongside a plastic car that was made by some Norfolk turnip farmers, which is being driven by a fat bloke with a dicky hip."

Jeremy: (the start of the Exige S Power Lap) "Slingshot acceleration, thanks to those semi-slick tires and the fact that this doesn't weigh anything..."

Jeremy: [About a BMW 650 convertible] This doesn't have an engine. What it has instead is a nuclear bomb under the bonnet.

Jeremy: [About his Ford GT] The thing is, I think I'm right in saying that I have never completed a single journey, anywhere there and back, in it ever. Which must make it the most unreliable car... ever made. In fact, if you've got a more unreliable one, write to us at "Actually, I've Got a Peugeot" BBC Top Gear, London W12...

Jeremy: [Before the Stig's Liana lap] This week we've been literally inundated with a letter...

Jeremy: [Commenting on the Koenigsegg CCX] I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: "Oh no, my head has just exploded!"

Jeremy: [complaining about the camp site] You aren't allowed to have a fire, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to play music, you have to be in bed by eleven, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you can't have anything. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!

Jeremy: [Discussing the bright pink convertible Nissan Micra] It just looks like a scrotum!

Jeremy: [on the Citroën C6] But I want it to feel completely different to any other car. I want to start it by licking a little panel here on the steering wheel. I want the gear lever to be made of rhubarb and to stick out of the sun visor. I want to feel like I'm in a Salvador Dalí painting and it's all melting. [...] Is this an indicator? Yes it is. It shouldn't be! That should be the boot release. The indicator should be, I don't know, [opens center console] in here somewhere. It's all wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong. [voiceover] As a car, it's conventional too. It's front-wheel-drive rather than side-wheel-drive, and prices start at 29 and a half thousand pounds, rather than 29 and a half thousand zarps.

Jeremy: [On the Mazda 6 MPS] And you don't have to worry about all the oomph making the chassis go 'blblblbl' and fall to pieces because it's got four wheel drive.