Top Gear quotes
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[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother, he will head-butt you in the chest... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[On the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason, he's allergic to the Dutch... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant, including the camera men. All we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the TVR Tuscan 2 Convertible]
James: In the old days of TVR you would have thought "that's a ticket to a festival of plastic death", but actually I thought it was good. I thought it handled really well.
James: In the old days of TVR you would have thought "that's a ticket to a festival of plastic death", but actually I thought it was good. I thought it handled really well.
[on the way to hosting the radio programme, Jeremy and James had taken to bad-mouthing Richard's Cadillac BLS]
Richard: Just stop talking now.
[a brief silence...]
James: I don't like the clock.
Richard: Save it!
Richard: Just stop talking now.
[a brief silence...]
James: I don't like the clock.
Richard: Save it!
[police sirens are heard]
Jeremy: Police are here! Runaway!
Richard: Run! Hide in a bush!
Jeremy: Police are here! Runaway!
Richard: Run! Hide in a bush!
[practicing his negligble sailing skills in a small boat]
James: There's a boat there called the "Hey Presto"! Hang on, there's a boat right here called "Puffin" - Hello Puffin! [crashes heavily into "Puffin"]
James: There's a boat there called the "Hey Presto"! Hang on, there's a boat right here called "Puffin" - Hello Puffin! [crashes heavily into "Puffin"]
[realizing he installed the driver's seat backwards in the Caterham Challenge]
Jeremy: How did I do that?
Jeremy: How did I do that?
[regarding photos of the (rather extensive) damage to a Porsche Cayenne and the production vehicle Richard crashed it into]
Richard: Oh, come on now, most of that'll polish out! It was just a slight... shunt.
Jeremy: You set the airbags off in the Porsche, look!
Richard: Actually, that was a bit of a surprise, and a bit of a worthwhile test, because I always thought, you know, an airbag going off would be like resting your head in a big fluffy pillow.
Jeremy: Mmm?
Richard: It's not! It's like being hit in the face with a wrecking ball! You have a crash, "Oh no!" and then boomf!, urgh, it hurts! I didn't like it.
Richard: Oh, come on now, most of that'll polish out! It was just a slight... shunt.
Jeremy: You set the airbags off in the Porsche, look!
Richard: Actually, that was a bit of a surprise, and a bit of a worthwhile test, because I always thought, you know, an airbag going off would be like resting your head in a big fluffy pillow.
Jeremy: Mmm?
Richard: It's not! It's like being hit in the face with a wrecking ball! You have a crash, "Oh no!" and then boomf!, urgh, it hurts! I didn't like it.
[Richard and James are talking about the Rolls-Royce 101EX's ceiling, which has lots of little lights on that look like stars]
Jeremy: [from across the studio] That is DISGUSTING!
Richard: Oh, dear! I fear Jeremy may be heading this way with an opinion!
[on the 101EX's "bling" features, like the aforementioned pinlight headliner, the glass Spirit of Ecstasy, and the carbon fiber body details]
Jeremy: [from across the studio] That is DISGUSTING!
Richard: Oh, dear! I fear Jeremy may be heading this way with an opinion!
[on the 101EX's "bling" features, like the aforementioned pinlight headliner, the glass Spirit of Ecstasy, and the carbon fiber body details]