Richard: [voiceover] It really was time for a challenge.
Richard: We don't yet know what we've gotta do.
Jeremy: Well if it's go to Brighton and pose undercover in gay clubs you're right there already.
[James and Jeremy laugh]
Richard: ...yeah.
Jeremy: We've got a challenge here, boys.
Richard: Please don't let it have the word "Brighton" in it...

Richard: Oh this, I'm gonna get grief for this now. This is not good.
James: [German accent] Cooler, eight weeks.

Richard: Recovering the seats, brilliant. I've taken...
Jeremy: Out of what?
Richard: Your jacket.
Jeremy: YOU! That is my jacket!

Richard: So we're now watching James, in a hot pursuit situation?
Jeremy: Yeah. How long have you got before you have to go home tonight?

Richard: Yes, but the thing is the BBC saw that film and they said we'd been stupid. And they said we had to do something for...the normal person. And, well, [points at Clarkson] it was 'im again...

[After Clarkson was caught by the hunt and cues back to the studio]
Richard: Sadly, in the course of making that film, Jeremy Clarkson was eaten by dogs.

[After Clarkson's Review of the GT-R]
Richard: You hopeless, old fart; a Datsun broke your neck.
Jeremy: It was already weakened, from endlessly craning down to listen to you.
James: Say, amazing rescue service they got there, isn't it? I was really pleased that someone have brought a lawn mower... [Crowd Laughs] and a bin lorry.
Jeremy: No, the dust bin lorry did put the fear of God in to me... Much like I did with them actually; when they took my sunglasses off, "Ooh, look at his eyes, disgusting!"

[After learning that Richard and James lost]
Jeremy: Honestly, 3 minutes and 12 seconds; that was so close.
Richard: [faces Buddha] Thanks Buddha, you looked after him...[breathes hard]...disappointed...
James: Wait for it...
[Translator device then speaks]
Richard: Which is...
James: Japanese for...
Both: Oh cock!

[after Richard has compared the Tata Nano to Pikachu]
Jeremy: Is that a punkawallah?
Richard: Pokémon.
Jeremy: I meant that.

[after several failed attempts, Jeremy and James head to a multi-story to park their cars]
James: [voiceover] This was great. They take your money, however it comes and in return, you get spaces.
[Jeremy reverses into a parking space]

[At Alfa Romeo concours, talking to other contestant about his polished Alfa]
Richard: As a man of God, you'd take it badly if I were to, let's say, key it.

[At the beginning of the news]
James: At first I want to say a couple more things about that Bentley. See, you said there it was like a slab of old England.
Jeremy: Yes.
James: But Bentley is owned by VW, that car was styled by a Belgian and it was engineered by a man called Ulrich Eichhorn. Doesn't sound very British.
Jeremy: Are you presenting Top Gear or are you writing a letter to the Daily Telegraph?
James: Well I am just saying that you know immediately that this car is German 'cause it's got too much power. They've overdone it, as usual. Like they did on their French holiday in 1939.
Jeremy: James, James, the Queen is German.
James: Yes.
Jeremy: You can't sing "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles" every time she comes on the television, do you?
James: Well, I do actually.
Richard: Yes, he does...

[Commenting on James' Rolls-Royce Corniche's top speed run]
Jeremy: Children come out of the womb faster than that!

[Describing James' Rolls-Royce Corniche]
Jeremy: All it is, is a Ford Zephyr with a chrome nose.

[During the 'Arrest the Stig' part of the Police Car challenge, after May's paint attempt]
Jeremy: [voiceover] Sadly there was one invention James hadn't considered.
[shows the Stig using his windscreen wipers to clear the paint off]