[on the Cayenne]
Jeremy: Nought to 60 takes five seconds. And about 17 gallons of fuel.

[on the CDs he was given for the race to Oslo]
Jeremy: [laughing] 101 classic speeches from... Mrs. Thatcher! [impersonating Thatcher] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this lady's not for turning.

[on the Chevrolet SSR]
Jeremy: You'd drive that, would you?
Richard: Yes.
Jeremy: You live in Gloucestershire?
Richard: I do.
Jeremy: And you'd drive around in a purple convertible pickup truck?
Richard: Not a purple one, obviously...

[on the Chrysler Crossfire]
Jeremy: Now, of course, being a coupé, the styling is hugely important, and... oh dear.

[on the Citroën C2
Jeremy: [voiceover] Look at the details. The gear lever that seems to have come from a sex shop. The translucent trim. The 12 million gigawatt stereo. And the bumf, which is full of words like "wicked" and "cool".
Jeremy: [standing in front of the car] Now this, it seems, is the language of something called cruising, which... isn't what I thought it was.

[on the concept Golf GTI W12, during the Stig's lap]
Jeremy: No CD today, because predictably, the CD player doesn't work.

[on the Dacia Sandero]
James: Great news!
Jeremy: What?
James: The Da- [Everyone starts to laugh]
James: They know what it is. [Laughing continues, until James regains composure]
James: The Dacia Sandero has gone on sale in left-hand-drive market.
Jeremy: Nice. [quickly] Now, just one more thing...

[on the Dacia Sandero]
James: Great news!
Jeremy: What?
James: The Dacia Sandero; I got a new picture. [shows a picture of the Dacia Sandero]
Jeremy: Oooh... [quickly] Anyway,...

[on the Dacia Sandero]
James: Hey, great news!
Jeremy: What?
James: I've been sent more information on the Dacia Sandero.
Jeremy: Excellent, excellent. [quickly] Hey, now...

[on the Dacia Sandero]
James: Oh, good news!
Jeremy: What?
James: The Dacia Sandero will have electronic brakeforce distribution.
Jeremy: Great [quickly] Now...

[on the Daewoo Tacuma]
Jeremy: The only way you could possibly drive this car is with a box on your head, so no one could tell it's you.

[on the Daihatsu Copen]
James: You're not going to get this, I know, but that car, it's small, it's silly, all it does is make the rest of the world massive. You know like the Incredible Shrinking Man in that film, where the telephone keeps getting bigger in his hand?
Jeremy: No.
James: All right.
Jeremy: But I'm sure it happened, I'm not saying it didn't happen, I just don't remember it.
James: OK, well, it's a bit like that. You sort of drive around amongst these massive road signs and huge hatchbacks, it's absolutely brilliant.
Richard: Can't say I noticed it myself, I thought it was all right, but, um...
[...]
Jeremy: It's not so much a car as a shoe.

[on the devastation in New Orleans]
Jeremy: How can the rest of America sleep at night knowing that this is here?

[on the diesel option for the Range Rover Sport]
Jeremy: You can't have this car with a diesel engine. It'd be like saying, "Well, I won't go to Stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lap dance, she's a woman...!" Yeah, but... [he grimaces]

[on the diesel VW Lupo]
Jeremy: No one knows what torque is, but this has 144 of them.