James: In order to understand the impact of the Vantage, I want you to imagine a simple scene down your local boozer. Now, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, Porsche, all that lot - they're the blokes round the bar with the big opinions. Giving it lots of that. [mimes talking] Aston Martin is the quiet bloke in the corner, with his pint of best and the crossword. And then, suddenly, he decides he's had enough. So he gets up, he takes them all outside, and he gives them a bloody good hiding.

James: Interestingly I think the Zonda is the sort of car for people who worry too much about their teeth.

James: Is that man walking along playing with his testicles?

James: It costs £9,400. For that you get... well, it's like a car really, only not quite as good. [Commenting on the Hyundai Accent 1.5 Diesel]

James: It does still look a bit like the inside of Jacques Cousteau's wetsuit in here.

James: It is amazing upholstery, I went in there and I immediately wanted a curry.

James: It's a gravel trap designed to stop Formula One cars. How on earth do you think it's not going to stop a Jaguar with a Metro on the roof?

James: It's a terrible shame Jeremy didn't like the 350Z - I wondered if he might be interested in the 350Z watch. It's a very large watch with a very small face. What do you think of that?
Jeremy: It'll probably go TICK TOCK! TIIIICK TOCK and be very heavy.

James: It's no wonder Michael Schumacher retired, he's slower than me!

James: It's time for a question, Just where is the greatest driving road in the world? Something that has the challenging bends, the fast straights, no traffic, the spectacular views, the lot.
[Jeremy walks up to a world map]
Jeremy: [points to North America] Now it can't be there 'cause they're all doing five, [points to South America] can't be there 'cause they're all on drugs,[points to Africa] that's just full of ox, [points to Antarctica] Al Gore says that's gone so it's not likely to be down there, [points to Australia] that's full of spiders...
Richard: Jeremy!
Jeremy: [points to the Philippines] Signs here are full of gibberish, [points to mainland Asia] they're all communists, [points to the Middle East] can't go there 'cause the Americans will shoot you.
Richard: Nuh! Yes, thank you Jeremy! We obviously discussed this at length and we concluded that the best driving road in the world would probably be somewhere in continental Europe, or more precisely around here, [points to the Alps on a map of Europe] the Alps. Then we decided that the best thing to do would be to go there and see if we could find it.

James: Look at this! It's a fork on one end and a 10mm ring spanner on the other!
Richard: [Pointing at James] And the best thing is, there is another spanner in the middle, look!

James: Motorsport is rubbish! [At the end of the coupes' race ... 29/05/2005]

James: No one has ever done it before because they probably would be killed to death.

James: Now for some more trouser action.

James: Now I was honest, and I said - "I'm a journalist, AND a broadcaster..."
Jeremy: And I bet you told them you live in London as well?
James: Yes, that's right - y'know, Single, car parked on the street, live in an area of London that's usually on fire...
Jeremy: So your quote was...
James: [dramatic pause for breath] Five thousand pounds! [for which he loses a massive 45 points]
[general laughter and an almost sympathetic bout of one-upmanship by Jeremy recounting a previous quote for £22000 on an Escort Cosworth worth "only" £19000]