Top Gear quotes

1565 total quotes



James: Hey, great news!
Jeremy: What?
James: The Dacia Sandero is almost here.
Jeremy: When?
James: Next year!
Jeremy: Great! [quickly] Now, the Toyota Urban Cruiser.

James: Hope you like prison food, crims... looking good... cock!

James: How hard can it be to build a kit car?
Richard: Well, as it turns out: very! Because all you did all the way was shout at Jeremy.
Jeremy: And all I wanted to do was stick a screwdriver in the side of his head!

James: I bet you any money he's come over to tell me he's stumped by that Chrysler.
Jeremy: James? I'm stumped by that Chrysler.

James: I don't know quite what bling is, but this must be it! [pointing to FAB 1]
[Later, after he has done his review of it]
James: [sitting in the car in the studio] So, I aks [sic] you, is I bling?
(Crowd Laughs)

James: I have to say I'm very disappointed in it, because when I joined Top Gear I thought, "Here we go. French film festival, Kristin... " No. I've been invited to the opening of a car park. And it says, "Yes please, I would like to come to the opening of the car park. I will be arriving, A, by car; B, on foot."

James: I like luxury. It's the new performance.
[...]
Jeremy: Now this is what I call shock and awe.

James: I quite like this 1.2-litre engine, it's sort of feisty and eager. Makes a great deal of fuss without really achieving very much. Bit like the Italian government, really.

James: I think I might have Norwegian wood!

James: I'd give... the rest of me year's salary... to see that sink [When Jeremy was on an Argocat amphibious vehicle]

James: I'm absolutely gutted. But you know what, it's not the car's fault, it's mine. I've broken a golden rule: You never, ever meet your childhood heroes.

James: I'm gonna go off and I'm gonna find one of those ruddy-faced farmers and his organic, rosy-cheeked wife, and get some free-range eggs and... grass-fed bacon, and all that local produce.

James: If I could only have one drink for the rest of my life, it would be a pint of bitter. And if I could only drive one supercar, it would be this: the Aston Martin Vantage.

James: If you've got the brochure on the Hyundai Accent on your coffee table, can I implore you please, not to do it. Buy a Fiesta, buy a second-hand Golf, go on holiday. Don't do it! [Commenting on the Hyundai Accent 1.5L diesel]

James: In 1979 in Britain, the BMW M1 cost about £35,000, which sounds very reasonable. Until you discover that the Ferrari 308 GTS was less than 20 grand. And here's another thing, look. [raps on door panel] GRP, or plastic to you - on a BMW. How much worse could it get? Well, while the car was being designed, the rules for sports racing cars were changed, so by the time it came out, it wasn't competitive anyway. What a farce.