[Describing the Zonda Roadster F]
James: That is the Zonda F Roadster. [voiceover] And in the already insane world of Pagani, this one has its own special padded cell.

[disappointed by the SLR's interior]
Richard: There's plastic - [raps on dash] - in here. Come on.

[discovering that his SL55's remote unlocker works from further away if he holds it against his temple]
Jeremy: What have I done to my head?!

[Discussing 20p organic crisps]
Jeremy: You see the thing is this, if you buy those crisps, the 20p goes to the Mexican sewage industry but if you buy petrol, the money goes to the government who spend it letting out foreign prisoners so they can stab people.
[Laughter, Hammond with his head in his hands, large applause]

[discussing a man who built a race car in his kitchen, eventually having to tear down an exterior wall to get it out of the house]
Jeremy: I presume there's no wife involved in this.
Richard: No. Well... there was, but unlike the car, the wife did fit through the door quite nicely. Fairly early on.

[Discussing the cottage design of the Mercedes S Class to the French designer]
Jeremy: We'll try it my way... and then we'll finish it. [walks away quickly]

[discussing the death of J.G. Parry-Thomas at "the birthplace of British speed"]
Richard: Getting back to this head coming off business...
Jeremy: Yeah.
Richard: Presumably what happened was the car, what, dug in, flipped, rolled...
Jeremy: Several times.
Richard: Head came off.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Richard: Couldn't the same thing happen to us?
Jeremy: Ooh, I shouldn't think so.
Richard: Right.

[discussing the entry-level model]
Jeremy: Do you want that one, though? Really? Honestly? A basic model? Because I bet that's also shi-

[discussing the Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale]
Jeremy: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, everybody - have you driven this car?
Richard: I have, yes.
Jeremy: And what happened when you drove this car?
Richard: Well, I crashed it, technically.
Jeremy: Tell the nice ladies and gentlemen about what happened.
Richard: Well, I was going round a corner, and the next minute I went round lots and lots of corners very quickly. Span it several times.
James: Actually, this is why it's called the F360, this model. Because you drive along and you go "FFF - !" and then you do a 360.

[Discussing the new Infiniti G convertible and its similarities to the Lexus SC 430]
Richard: [about the Lexus] I mean that is undoubtedly the most vile and hideous cars ever made. Why make it look like that?
James: It is vile, but it's completely academic because you never see one of those in the real world.
Jeremy: Oh you do! You do! Go to Cheshire, they're everywhere. And they're always being driven by those women that have got faces actually made from leather.
Richard: But whenever I see them -- those women driving those cars -- I really do want to stop them and just ask, I want to beg why? Tell me why did you buy that because it's an expensive car.
Jeremy: It's like getting every travel brochure, choosing your summer holidays next summer--a hundred and eighty countries you could go to and saying Yes, Germany. Not Mauritius--not Mauritius, Dortmund is where I want to go.

[Discussing the Vauxhall Insignia's hard seats]
Richard: Actually, you can't criticise those, because a German panel of seat experts...
Jeremy: [interrupts] A what?
Richard: There's a German panel of seat experts.
Jeremy: And I've invited them all to your house for Christmas.
Richard: Oh God! Where would you put them, have a sea... no stand up.

[discussing their challenge to eat road-kill]
Richard: 'Well that's okay. [to Jeremy] You can prepare it, wash it and such, I can cook it and James can dress for dinner!

[Driving along the Road of Death in the dark, long since abandoned by Jeremy]
James: Hammond, I want to say something to you that I wouldn't say at any other time.
Richard: ...What...?
James: ...Please don't leave me.

[driving his Ferrari - surprisingly quickly - in southern France]
James: Here comes Captain Slow!

[Driving his Opel Kadett down the road in Africa]
Richard: This is just the happiest car in the world! I shall call it Oliver! Not that we'd ever name a car on Top Gear. I wish I hadn't said that.