[After the caravan drop]
Jeremy: [crawling in through the window] Lordy lord, I'm too old for this.
[...]
Jeremy: I honestly can't believe this; the steering is fine, the gearbox is fine, the low-range box is fine, the brakes are fine... Even the speedo's telling me we're doing thirty.

[after the end credits]
Simon: Can we just stop the competition now?
Jeremy: No, we bloody can't; I'm going to phone Damon Hill next week!

[after the Reliant shuttle crashed and exploded]
James: That's why...
Richard: How are we going to use it again?

[After they declared no one won the challenge]
Jeremy: But no matter, we did end up with a "Top Gear Top Tip", okay? Yes, you can buy a supercar for less than ten thousand pounds, but for the love of God, don't!!

[after they leave the campsite]
Jeremy: [over the walkie-talkie] James May.
James: [also over the walkie-talkie] Jeremy Clarkson.
Jeremy: What's it like driving around under a bucket of your own faeces?
James: Are you going to fall over today for our entertainment? [Jeremy laughs]
Jeremy: [as they drive over a bridge and his block of flats starts to sway again] Woah!... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

[After they reach their first campsite]
Jeremy: [reading challenge] "Stretching before you is the Makgadikgadi. These are the biggest salt flats in the world. Almost completely lifeless, and as wide as Portugal. No car has ever driven across them. If you run out of water, you will die. If your car breaks down, and you can't be rescued, you will die. If you run out of food, you will die. It's like driving on a creme brulee. There's a prime-evil ooze covered with a thin layer of salty crust. If you have thin tyres, you will break through that crust, get stuck, and you will die." So it advises to fit fat tyres and remove as much weight as possible before setting off. Well how hard can it be?
Richard: Don't say that!

[after wiping of the "offending" artwork]
Jeremy (narrating): With the artwork gone, we hit the road...hard.
Jeremy:I'm doing something I'd never thought I would do. I am running for the border.
James: God in heaven, that was actually frightening.
Richard: They could've killed us!
Jeremy: They really do have an irony deficiency here. I can honestly believe that in certain parts of America now, people have started to mate with vegetables.

[also during the news]
Jeremy: Hey, Hey, Hey! Now the other day I was driving behind a BMW Z4, roof down, bloke driving along and he had a bit of a comb over. Now as he accelerated onto the M40, his speed built up, Whooop! He got lift off. He must've been thinking, I look like Tom Selleck in this car. Kinda like a pedal bin, put his foot down on the pedal, Whooop! Anyhow, that gave me an idea; I wonder if the Z4 is particularly bad for that, what would be the best convertible if you had a bit of a Charlton going on.
Richard: Yeah, good question.
Jeremy: So we are looking for volunteers. If you got a bit of a comb over and you would like to know which sports car is best, then please get in touch with us, and I'm being serious, no silly addresses: BBC Top Gear, 201 Wood Lane, London, W12 7TS. Mark your envelope: I've got a bit of a Charlton.

[Also during the truck challenge]
Richard: I have bought this!
Jeremy: What is it?
Richard: It's an, well it's an... Erf!

[Also on the BMW X5 M]
Jeremy: This car would be less annoying to eco-mentalists if its engine ran on sliced dolphin.

[Also talking to insurance sales people]
Jeremy: But that's 15 times the price of the car! What you're saying is, I'm going to completely write-off the car 15 times a year.

[An irate Jeremy is trying to stop the windscreen wiper while in the studio.]
Richard: This is consumer advice as well, so...
Jeremy: [frustrated] SHUT UUUUUP!

[Analysing each others' kit for the journey]
Richard: [pointing to James' utility belt] What's all this?
James: That is my belt of many things.
Richard: Are these all stuff for...
Jeremy: [interrupting] What is that?
James: Don't touch it. That is a dental healthcare kit.
Richard: What's this?
James: Don't touch it, just ask. That, is a shoe polishing kit.
Jeremy and Richard: What?!
James: It's a shoe polishing kit.
Jeremy: Well thank God for that. If we get hungry, we'll be able to eat his Kiwi boot polish.
Richard: Basically, what you've done is bought My First Explorer Kit.
James: [Jeremy inspects the rear of the belt] Don't touch it!

[announcing an event, with the text on the sign behind him truncated]
Jeremy: ...in the "Top Gear Winter Olympics Ski Slash Car Jumping Champio!"

[announcing an event, with the text on the sign behind him truncated]
Jeremy: I declare the "Top Gear Suzuki Swift Car/Ice Hockey Cha" open!"