[After Richard and James leaves behind Jeremy to go to the hotel]
Richard: Not going to be the same without the big ape, is it?
James: What a bin lid, honestly!
Richard: He is a yobbo, though, isn't he? Four laps and he'd trashed it just by messing about. He doesn't think ahead.
Jeremy: [over the radio] I can still hear you, you short arse! [Richard laughs]

[after Richard has compared the Tata Nano to Pikachu]
Jeremy: Is that a punkawallah?
Richard: Pokémon.
Jeremy: I meant that.

[After Richard introduced his Porsche GT3 RS]
Jeremy: What you've brought, mate, is a knife to a gunfight.
Richard: How do you make that out?
Jeremy: Let me explain, OK? Premiership [pointing to James' Ferrari 458 Italia], Premiership [pointing to his Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG], [pointing to Richard's Porsche] Johnstone's Paint Trophy.

[After Richard is "abducted" by an elderly fan in a neighbouring caravan]
James: What's Hammond doing with the dog?
Jeremy: The dog went in with him.
James: Really?
Jeremy: Him and the dog and the biggish woman are in a caravan.

[after Richard's Dino has been tested against its original output on a rolling road]
Jeremy: Sixty-one Horsepower has escaped; that's how many a year?
James: Think of it another way, that's a... that's a VW Lupo that has escaped from your engine!

[after Richard's sinking-car film, in which he needed the rescue diver's help to escape the car]
Jeremy: So did you die in the making of that film?
Richard: Well, yeah. I mean, if it was real, yes, I did.
Jeremy: And the thing is, it was very lucky you were in the GL model, 'cause that was the one that did come with the diver in the back seat with the aqualung.
Richard: Yeah. If it'd been an L, pfft. That would've been it, curtains.

[after several failed attempts, Jeremy and James head to a multi-story to park their cars]
James: [voiceover] This was great. They take your money, however it comes and in return, you get spaces.
[Jeremy reverses into a parking space]

[After showing the car sauna clip]
Jeremy: Gordon, if you're watching, and you're probably not, if you go to set these ridiculous, er, heatwave level alerts...what was it we got up to?
Both: Sixty-two.
Jeremy: [continuing his speech] ...Sixty-two degrees is your bottom.
Richard: Yeah, it gets a bit toasty...
Jeremy: A bit uncomfortable.
Richard: How about that?
Jeremy: Yeah.
James: Actually, Gordon, there's something else I've discovered in that test, if you're watching. And that is... I know when I'm too hot.
Jeremy: I don't need the Government to tell me to have a drink of water and put suncream on. Leave - us - alone!

[After sinking in Hammond's campervan]
James: This is the third time I've been in this bloody sea!
Richard: Technically, it wasn't my fault.

[after spending a day with Richard on a Ferry]
James: I really enjoyed our day out together, Richard. It's not very often I get to take someone out for a nice dinner. [camera switches to Richard, who is now looking somewhat concerned]

[After testing the Zonda Roadster F]
James: Now the office say they have another car to try on the track but I shouldn't worry because it's only a VW. [Looks in the distance] Funny.
[Cuts to the Veyron]

[After testing their V8 rocking chair]
Jeremy: It hasn't worked, because the noise is so great, you'd never hear the television, would you?
Richard: That... and the fact that the old lady has disintegrated. Her head's come off!

[after the above attempt failed]
Jeremy: I've spent half an hour talking to a man, telling him where you were born, how many children you've got, where you live, what your postcode is, and then he says "Is a Bugatti a Rover?". Well, they've quoted me miserable there.

[after the amphibious car challenge]
Jeremy: It's a fair victory. It's not like I'm a sore loser or anything... it's just that, for going home tonight, James won't be using the Herald [points to the Triumph Herald] because the clutch has gone. Richard won't be using that [points to the "Dampervan"] because it was ruined in the accident. Whereas, because I bought a Hilux [points at Toybota] - and, as we know, from here [indicates the Hilux] - they are indestructible, I shall be driving this home! So, um...
Richard: Yes, alright.
Jeremy: Yes, thank you all very much for watching. It's been a...[Clarkson gets in and tries to start it, but fails, to much ridicule from Hammond and May]
Richard: Oh ha ha ha! You have broken the 'indestructible'... ha ha ha. It's not working.
[Richard and James listen to the engine]

[after the build quality test with Jeremy's convertible, he gets out]
Jeremy: [his voice is high-pitched from breathing helium] Right. I just have to say, that's a stupid test.
[Richard laughs]
Jeremy: [still in a helium voice] It is stupid. It's just a test of how big your lungs are.