Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons
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[about The Stig]
Richard: Some say one of his legs get longer when he sees a pretty lady. And that I haven't done one of these for some time and I've forgotten to make up a second thing. All we know is he's called The Stig!
Richard: Some say one of his legs get longer when he sees a pretty lady. And that I haven't done one of these for some time and I've forgotten to make up a second thing. All we know is he's called The Stig!
[about to crash his £100 Audi]
James: Well... It's been good. I met Jodie Kidd... and Stephen Fry.
James: Well... It's been good. I met Jodie Kidd... and Stephen Fry.
[About to drag race the Tesla Roadster against a Lotus Elise]
Jeremy: Right, it's on. I... think. There's no noise at all, but anyway. Put it into drive -- [it] has a one-speed gearbox. They tried it with a two speed but that kept breaking. So one it is. We're in drive and I'm ready.
[The Roadster pulls away from the Elise]
Jeremy: God almighty! Wave goodbye to dial-up and say hello to the world of broadband motoring! Twelve and a half thousand RPM, I could not believe this! That's biblically quick! This car is electric! Literally!
Jeremy: Right, it's on. I... think. There's no noise at all, but anyway. Put it into drive -- [it] has a one-speed gearbox. They tried it with a two speed but that kept breaking. So one it is. We're in drive and I'm ready.
[The Roadster pulls away from the Elise]
Jeremy: God almighty! Wave goodbye to dial-up and say hello to the world of broadband motoring! Twelve and a half thousand RPM, I could not believe this! That's biblically quick! This car is electric! Literally!
[accompanied by James playing the theme music on a Casio keyboard]
Richard: On tonight's cut-price Top Gear: A small plastic car that's actually quite economical; we take a seasonal Yuletide trip to, eh... Birmingham; oh, and we do have a supercar! Albeit a quite cheap one.
Richard: On tonight's cut-price Top Gear: A small plastic car that's actually quite economical; we take a seasonal Yuletide trip to, eh... Birmingham; oh, and we do have a supercar! Albeit a quite cheap one.
[advocating the Rover 75]
James: There's nothing raucous about its V6 engine. It rides more smoothly than a Rolls-Royce Corniche. And it's trimmed like a first-class cabin on the Titanic. Before it sank.
James: There's nothing raucous about its V6 engine. It rides more smoothly than a Rolls-Royce Corniche. And it's trimmed like a first-class cabin on the Titanic. Before it sank.
[After a few spin offs]
James: [voiceover] With a little practise, I got the hang of it.
[Cut to The Stig wearing James' jumper driving the Zonda]
James: [voiceover] With a little practise, I got the hang of it.
[Cut to The Stig wearing James' jumper driving the Zonda]
[after arriving in his modified Land Rover Cottage at the start point, Fleet services on the M3]
Richard: And here it is. I´m genuinely genuinely proud of it.
Richard: (voiceover) But before I had a chance to talk you through, Jeremy arrived. In what appeared to be a block of flats on top of an old Citroen.
Richard: And here it is. I´m genuinely genuinely proud of it.
Richard: (voiceover) But before I had a chance to talk you through, Jeremy arrived. In what appeared to be a block of flats on top of an old Citroen.
[After being asked a question in Vietnamese]
Richard: [In English, completely guessing what she asked] Always give way to the car from the right!
[Whole class bursts out laughing]
Jeremy: You had a one in a hundred chance of being right, but it was in the wrong language.
Richard: [In English, completely guessing what she asked] Always give way to the car from the right!
[Whole class bursts out laughing]
Jeremy: You had a one in a hundred chance of being right, but it was in the wrong language.
[after being drenched in the motor wash from Jeremy's borrowed powerboat]
James: You utter pirate!
James: You utter pirate!
[after being overtaken by Jeremy in his Ferrari]
James: Permission to say 'cock' for the second time this y... I've even abandoned my luggage!
James: Permission to say 'cock' for the second time this y... I've even abandoned my luggage!
[After bring told that they couldn't get any more spare parts for their bikes and found out that the "backup transport", if they couldn't keep their bikes going with tools is a Honda Chaly mini-bike with a "Stars and Stripes" paint job]
Jeremy: Oh god!
Richard: Oh yes, that is a bit...
James: Oh, God, I don't think so!
Richard: It's slightly conspicuous
[some music starts playing loudly, it's "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen, it's the "Star Spangled Banner" in the DVD edition]
Jeremy: That's "Born in the USA", evidently.
[some thunder rumbles and some Vietnamese start running towards them in the distance]
Richard: That's thunder...and the village...have you noticed there was a rumble of thunder, and the village arrived..? I-...
[He struggles to find the right words]
Jeremy: Children, if you're watching this at home and you don't know why this is inappropriate, ask your parents, but this is as inappropriate a bike as it is humanly possible to conceive.
Jeremy: Oh god!
Richard: Oh yes, that is a bit...
James: Oh, God, I don't think so!
Richard: It's slightly conspicuous
[some music starts playing loudly, it's "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen, it's the "Star Spangled Banner" in the DVD edition]
Jeremy: That's "Born in the USA", evidently.
[some thunder rumbles and some Vietnamese start running towards them in the distance]
Richard: That's thunder...and the village...have you noticed there was a rumble of thunder, and the village arrived..? I-...
[He struggles to find the right words]
Jeremy: Children, if you're watching this at home and you don't know why this is inappropriate, ask your parents, but this is as inappropriate a bike as it is humanly possible to conceive.
[After Clarkson was caught by the hunt and cues back to the studio]
Richard: Sadly, in the course of making that film, Jeremy Clarkson was eaten by dogs.
Richard: Sadly, in the course of making that film, Jeremy Clarkson was eaten by dogs.
[After Clarkson's Review of the GT-R]
Richard: You hopeless, old fart; a Datsun broke your neck.
Jeremy: It was already weakened, from endlessly craning down to listen to you.
James: Say, amazing rescue service they got there, isn't it? I was really pleased that someone have brought a lawn mower... [Crowd Laughs] and a bin lorry.
Jeremy: No, the dust bin lorry did put the fear of God in to me... Much like I did with them actually; when they took my sunglasses off, "Ooh, look at his eyes, disgusting!"
Richard: You hopeless, old fart; a Datsun broke your neck.
Jeremy: It was already weakened, from endlessly craning down to listen to you.
James: Say, amazing rescue service they got there, isn't it? I was really pleased that someone have brought a lawn mower... [Crowd Laughs] and a bin lorry.
Jeremy: No, the dust bin lorry did put the fear of God in to me... Much like I did with them actually; when they took my sunglasses off, "Ooh, look at his eyes, disgusting!"
[After driving the pick-up down the steps]
Jeremy: [Voiceover] It damaged my spine quite badly, doing this. And then it set about damaging Bristol.
Jeremy: [Voiceover] It damaged my spine quite badly, doing this. And then it set about damaging Bristol.