Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons
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Richard: [Driving the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S] So, we've devised another Richard Hammond real world test...
[scene continues to car vs skydiver stunt]
[scene continues to car vs skydiver stunt]
Richard: [holding a red Dorset Naga chili pepper] This... is the BMW Z4. [tastes pepper gingerly with the tip of his tongue] GAH!
Richard: [imitating a lorry driver in Florida] It's raining, I'm going north and I'm looking for a whore!
Richard: [in the episode where their mums test three hatchbacks] Now we're just using boxes of old junk [lifts a box] cleared out of the mothers' lofts. You know, the kind of... the old tat that no one could possibly want, or... be prepared to read [holding up two of Jeremy's books and one of his solo videotapes]
Richard: [Into radio whilst sitting in a full-size remote control car as James crashes it] You are utterly useless!
Richard: [on Jeremy's Ford GT and its literally useless luggage compartment] The boot is there... purely to accommodate the boot lid!
Richard: [On the Corvette] So, can this one follow in the tradition of its government and get up other countries' noses?
Richard: [On the Corvette] The clutch is making my left leg hurt, and the gear change has been taken straight out of a Victorian signal box.
Richard: [On the Corvette] This, then, is America's Porsche 911. But here in Europe, we already have a Porsche 911. It's called the Porsche 911.
Richard: [on the Ford Transit's 40th anniversary, and ways to celebrate the milestone] [...] however, nothing says 'Happy Birthday!' like rubbing Jeremy's face in it. [scene then leads into Sabine Schmitz's Transit attempt to beat JC's 9m 59s Nürburgring lap in a diesel Jaguar]
Richard: [On the Hummer aftershave] Splash it on and make him squeal like a piggy.
Richard: [on the Morris Marina that James is driving] I'll guarantee that nothing exciting, vibrant, dynamic, new, creative, hopeful or beneficial in any way to humanity has ever been done, thought of or driven to in that drab, dreary, entirely beige, wilfully awful pile of misery.
James: Oh come on its not that bad... it's well equipped. Course it isn't well equipped really - its got one dial. But its tastefully upholstered. Of course it isn't tastefully upholstered really - it's brown. But the seats are velour and look how nicely it's worn!
James: Oh come on its not that bad... it's well equipped. Course it isn't well equipped really - its got one dial. But its tastefully upholstered. Of course it isn't tastefully upholstered really - it's brown. But the seats are velour and look how nicely it's worn!
Richard: [On the Renault Mégane's interior] Mothers will be fishing kids out of obscure cubbyholes for years!