Top Gear quotes
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Jeremy: I've got a spare outboard.
Richard: You are joking.
Jeremy: I have. How much will you give me?
Richard: A million pounds!
Jeremy: A million?
Richard: And a leg, take your pick! Either leg! [Jeremy hands him the tiny 4.5hp motor he was originally recommended] Oh, yes! Now what do I do?
Richard: You are joking.
Jeremy: I have. How much will you give me?
Richard: A million pounds!
Jeremy: A million?
Richard: And a leg, take your pick! Either leg! [Jeremy hands him the tiny 4.5hp motor he was originally recommended] Oh, yes! Now what do I do?
Jeremy: If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you've seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.
Series 3
Series 3
Jeremy: If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort Inn; you got your Best Western; you got your Red Lobster where you eat. Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude. It's not the holiday programme--it's the truth.
Jeremy: In Russia, you had to work hard in the car factories, or you'd suddenly discover how difficult it is to mine Siberian salt... while wearing a hat made from your wife's head.
Jeremy: In the olden days, it was very close between the Evo and the Impreza, it was like Chelsea and Manchester United, but uh... but now, with these new models, it's like Chelsea and... [laughs]] I don't know enough about football. Um... what team plays in red? That isn't as good as Chelsea?
Cameraman: [offscreen] Nottingham Forest.
Jeremy: Nottingham... Nottingham Forest. [attempts to strike knowing pose]
Cameraman: [offscreen] Nottingham Forest.
Jeremy: Nottingham... Nottingham Forest. [attempts to strike knowing pose]
Jeremy: Isn't the Isle of Man just amazing?
Richard: It's fabulous! It's like someone's gone out and designed Top Gear Fantasy Island specially for us!
James: Oh, if the Isle of Man was this great, I'd be absolutely blown away by the Isle of Woman.
Richard: Yes, the kippers were good --
Jeremy: Yes, but there's no speed limits here, James! "Ooh I know, but the kippers!"
James: I'd rather the pussy cat than the kipper.
Richard: They were good, though!
Richard: It's fabulous! It's like someone's gone out and designed Top Gear Fantasy Island specially for us!
James: Oh, if the Isle of Man was this great, I'd be absolutely blown away by the Isle of Woman.
Richard: Yes, the kippers were good --
Jeremy: Yes, but there's no speed limits here, James! "Ooh I know, but the kippers!"
James: I'd rather the pussy cat than the kipper.
Richard: They were good, though!
Jeremy: It is extraordinary, if you think about it. In South America, there are no elephants, kangaroos, lions, hyenas, honey badgers, nothing interesting at all. It's all just insects designed to make you have a debilitating, agonising death.
Jeremy: It's a two lap race of the Zolder circuit and it's between a Porsche 911 - the racing Porsche 911 - which will be driven by professional racing driver Tim Schrick. And he will be against an Aston Martin DBRS9, which will be driven by James May.
Richard: [quietly] Do we have to use James?
Jeremy: Well, no, you did the Bowler thing, I did the Mini thing, it's his turn.
Richard: But he's gonna lose... badly.
Richard: [quietly] Do we have to use James?
Jeremy: Well, no, you did the Bowler thing, I did the Mini thing, it's his turn.
Richard: But he's gonna lose... badly.
Jeremy: It's cold, the track's too pockmarked, it's bumpy....now,I'll be driving the Morris Marxist and you shall be in the...what is it?
James: The Lenin 1.6 SLX.
Jeremy: Lovely. And the winner gets Berlin.
James: And the loser has to sacrifice his bath plug.
James: The Lenin 1.6 SLX.
Jeremy: Lovely. And the winner gets Berlin.
James: And the loser has to sacrifice his bath plug.
Jeremy: It's in the script I should argue with you, but I'm not going to because I love that car. Anyway, that's it for this evening, and--
Richard: Actually, no it's not, that isn't it, because--
Jeremy: It seems the Driving God has more to say, at this point. What is it, Driving God?
Richard: Things I wish I'd never said...
Richard: Actually, no it's not, that isn't it, because--
Jeremy: It seems the Driving God has more to say, at this point. What is it, Driving God?
Richard: Things I wish I'd never said...
Jeremy: It's the Enemy of the State Award, the person who's done the most to harm the cause of the petrolhead these last 12 months. Gentlemen, the nominations.
Richard: The Chief Constable of North Wales, Richard Brunstrom, for his resolutely unpopular anti-motorist stance.
James: There are no more nominations.
Richard: The Chief Constable of North Wales, Richard Brunstrom, for his resolutely unpopular anti-motorist stance.
James: There are no more nominations.