Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons
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Jeremy: [watching Fiona Bruce walk away from the P50] She has got quite a nice bottom. ... I said that out loud, didn't I.
Jeremy: [when introducing the two wheel drive Jaguar XK] Old Jags were all full of wood and pipe tobacco, it was like being inside.. James May. But this one.. is like being inside.. James Kirk.
Jeremy: [while carrying a tortoise off the road] Urgh! Don't do that, tortoise! [Drops tortoise]
Jeremy: [while lying underneath a Porsche Carrera GT] I'm speaking to you now from inside one of the venturi tunnels!
Jeremy: [whilst driving a Segway] They're made in America, of course, so that fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy.
Jeremy: [Yelling at the top of his voice over the wind noise] The Atom is fast on an entirely new level! I have never driven anything that accelerates so fast! [voiceover] It's so quick, it can destroy your entire face. [face stretches in the slipstream]. OH MY GOD!
Jeremy: Absolutely everybody here was faster than me. [talking about the Nürburgring]
Sabine Schmitz: Yes, that's true.
Jeremy: Do you think I'm going to be able to get 'round in ten minutes?
Sabine: [laughing] No.
Jeremy: Don't sugar coat it like that, tell me straight.
Sabine: You're not one hundred percent talent-free, but... eighty percent?
Jeremy: Eighty percent talent free... right.
Sabine Schmitz: Yes, that's true.
Jeremy: Do you think I'm going to be able to get 'round in ten minutes?
Sabine: [laughing] No.
Jeremy: Don't sugar coat it like that, tell me straight.
Sabine: You're not one hundred percent talent-free, but... eighty percent?
Jeremy: Eighty percent talent free... right.
Jeremy: After we'd finished, the people at Caterham put a plaque on our car, can you see that? [We see a plaque reading "Built by Top Gear"] Which has rendered this car absolutely worthless.
Jeremy: Ah, now, Rich, would you like some pussy? [laughter]
James: [looking enthused] Well, do I certainly..
Richard: [looking confused] Well, it wasn't on my mind right now, it is now. I... Eh?
Jeremy: Pussy, energy drink. [showing off the canned drink]
Richard: [laughing] I see! I did wonder.
James: What flavour is it?
Jeremy: Flavour?
Richard: Leave it! Leave it!
James: Steady on, man. Leave it!
James: [looking enthused] Well, do I certainly..
Richard: [looking confused] Well, it wasn't on my mind right now, it is now. I... Eh?
Jeremy: Pussy, energy drink. [showing off the canned drink]
Richard: [laughing] I see! I did wonder.
James: What flavour is it?
Jeremy: Flavour?
Richard: Leave it! Leave it!
James: Steady on, man. Leave it!
Jeremy: All dentists have Saabs, OK? All. And graphic designers all have them, and all architects have them, and all Stephen Frys have them.
Jeremy: All that comes out of the exhaust pipes on this Porsche, are baby foxes.
Jeremy: And please, do not write to us about drinking and driving. Because I'm not driving, I'm sailing.