James: We had a letter from the BBC, and they said what with petrol being £5.50 and all the rest of it, what we should actually be doing is giving some advice on... fuel economy and... saving money!
Richard: Yeah. Unfortunately, that letter was opened, by him. [points at Clarkson]
Jeremy: Yes. And I decided the best thing we could do was gather five supercars together and have a race!

James: What we want in Britain is a convertible car for sunny days, and a hardtop for the other 364.

James: What would you say if I said, Perodua Kelisa?
Richard: Made In China.

James: Whatever you do, don't do downstairs and look at the car. It's got no front end. No lights, no radiator, no bumper, no splitter, no front of the engine, no bonnet. That fuel pump thing is right in the bowels of the thing. They've got the whole front off. It's like trying to repair something in France from this end of the Channel Tunnel.
[Jeremy and Richard come downstairs to the garage]

James: Who makes the fastest cars: the Axis powers or the Allies?
Richard: You came up with this one didn't you?
James: Yes!

James: With Jeremy's shooting, you're perfectly safe so long as you stand directly in front of the target.

James: Would the Element be a car for people who like hip-hop, or for people waiting for a hip-op?

James: Yes, it's the Mercedes B-class! Keen students of the alphabet will probably have worked out already that this is one up from the A-class.

James: YOU UNBEARABLE MAN, I CAN'T STAND IT!!! [after arriving at the destination for the Veyron vs. Plane race to find Jeremy had already arrived about a minute earlier]

James: You should feel it go stiff now.
Jeremy: Pump, man! Pump! Braking happening?
Richard: Oh, yeah, that's much better. That's hard.

James: You're not seriously suggesting that the British Coast Guard drove all the way up to Watford and set fire to our chairs, are you?
Jeremy: No I'm not. I know who did this.
Richard: Who?
Jeremy: Fifth Gear.
[...]
Richard: D'you think they're a bit jealous?
Jeremy: Yeah. So please, really. Tiff, Vicki? Stop burning our things.
Richard: Yes.
Jeremy: Can I just say, the seats we used to have were from a Vauxhall Senator. So if anyone out there is watching and they have a Vauxhall Senator -
Richard: Well, hang on, you're gonna say "if you've got a Vauxhall Senator and you don't need the seats."
Jeremy: That's right. Uh, write to us at "I've got a Vauxhall Senator and I drive everywhere standing up," BBC Television, uh, London, wherever we are.

James: You're such a pair of wittering nancy boys.

James:[During the Braking test] COCK! [he then crashes into his own piano]

Jason: ...and the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car...
Jeremy: Yeah...
Jason: ...in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Jenson Button: I like to enjoy myself as we all do.
Jeremy: [interrupting] So you get a lot of sex.
Jenson: Probably more than you, Jeremy, yes.