Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8
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[on the Brabus-tuned SL65]
Jeremy: Here we are, if you want it, with proof, that absolute power really does corrupt... absolutely.
Jeremy: Here we are, if you want it, with proof, that absolute power really does corrupt... absolutely.
[on the devastation in New Orleans]
Jeremy: How can the rest of America sleep at night knowing that this is here?
Jeremy: How can the rest of America sleep at night knowing that this is here?
[on the impending sale of Aston Martin]
Jeremy: The leading bid at the moment is from an Egyptian consortium.
James: Carpets'll be nice.
Richard: Really, really elaborate. Really elaborate.
Jeremy: Yeah, and buying one is going to be interesting. You go down to "my brother's Abdel Martin shop".
James: [bad Egyptian accent] "For you, my friend... "
Jeremy: "... I make nice special price."
James: "Special price."
Jeremy: The leading bid at the moment is from an Egyptian consortium.
James: Carpets'll be nice.
Richard: Really, really elaborate. Really elaborate.
Jeremy: Yeah, and buying one is going to be interesting. You go down to "my brother's Abdel Martin shop".
James: [bad Egyptian accent] "For you, my friend... "
Jeremy: "... I make nice special price."
James: "Special price."
[on the Jaguar XKR]
Jeremy: ...while it doesn't have a shed load of power, it is still quite fast. You passed sixty miles an hour in 4.9 seconds. You passed a hundred in thirteen seconds, and that's good... but imagine how good it would be if it had more power!
Jeremy: ...while it doesn't have a shed load of power, it is still quite fast. You passed sixty miles an hour in 4.9 seconds. You passed a hundred in thirteen seconds, and that's good... but imagine how good it would be if it had more power!
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else, he realized that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs... [the audience applauds wildly and Jeremy pauses for a short moment]... [laughing] all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and long before anyone else, he realized that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs... [the audience applauds wildly and Jeremy pauses for a short moment]... [laughing] all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal... all we know is, he's called Lord Stig!
Jeremy: Some say that he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal... all we know is, he's called Lord Stig!
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears' head... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears' head... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli, and that at this week's Brit awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Jeremy: Some say that if you lick his chest, it tastes exactly the same as piccalilli, and that at this week's Brit awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the Stig]
Richard: Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Richard: Some say he isn't machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[on the stretched Panda's passenger entry system]
James: It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place.
James: It's an ingenious solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place.
[Reading some of the questions from the safe driving course]
Jeremy: "You have a blowout on the motorway..." - one for you here, Hammond! (referring to 9.1 where Hammond crashed)
Jeremy: "You have a blowout on the motorway..." - one for you here, Hammond! (referring to 9.1 where Hammond crashed)
[Reading the third (or maybe last) question from the safe driving course]
Jeremy: What's the primary hazard facing drivers when driving at night? Anybody want to hazard a guess at that? No hang on, this is [straining to hear an answer from the audience] go on, what? Dark. Anything else?
Guy in the audience: Germans!
[Audience laughs]
Jeremy: Germans.
Richard: These are all valid, valid points.
Jeremy: None of these things are on my list, anybody else got any thoughts?
Another guy in the audience: Peasants!
Both (laughing): Peasants.
Jeremy: No. It's, um, glare from other vehicles' headlamps. Cyclists in dark clothing; it's their own fault for not working hard enough, not having a car.
Jeremy: What's the primary hazard facing drivers when driving at night? Anybody want to hazard a guess at that? No hang on, this is [straining to hear an answer from the audience] go on, what? Dark. Anything else?
Guy in the audience: Germans!
[Audience laughs]
Jeremy: Germans.
Richard: These are all valid, valid points.
Jeremy: None of these things are on my list, anybody else got any thoughts?
Another guy in the audience: Peasants!
Both (laughing): Peasants.
Jeremy: No. It's, um, glare from other vehicles' headlamps. Cyclists in dark clothing; it's their own fault for not working hard enough, not having a car.
[referring to Richard's comeback to the studio]
Jeremy: ...and here's something I never thought I'd be saying at one point, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... Richard Hammond!
Jeremy: ...and here's something I never thought I'd be saying at one point, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... Richard Hammond!
[regarding James being late]
Jeremy: He will have walked into a dealership - [imitating James' voice] "Hello!" - and they'll have shot him!
[Richard laughs]
Jeremy: He will have walked into a dealership - [imitating James' voice] "Hello!" - and they'll have shot him!
[Richard laughs]
[regarding James' Cadillac]
James: It isn't fast, b--
Richard: You don't say, it's not fast! Is it not mate? I took one look and thought, "ooo, it looks like a Lotus Exige!"
James: It isn't fast, b--
Richard: You don't say, it's not fast! Is it not mate? I took one look and thought, "ooo, it looks like a Lotus Exige!"