Top Gear quotes
1565 total quotesAll Seasons
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[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight. Richard tries to start a motorbike. James fill his car with petrol. And I get a British Rail sun tan.
Jeremy: Tonight. Richard tries to start a motorbike. James fill his car with petrol. And I get a British Rail sun tan.
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight. The brighter, whiter way to ruin your underpants. How much lorrying can you get for five thousand pounds? And Michael Parkinson has a go in t' reasonably priced car.
Jeremy: Tonight. The brighter, whiter way to ruin your underpants. How much lorrying can you get for five thousand pounds? And Michael Parkinson has a go in t' reasonably priced car.
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight. The Stig climbs into a bucket of hot wallpaper paste. Richard sorts out public transport. And James gets beaten up by a boat.
Jeremy: Tonight. The Stig climbs into a bucket of hot wallpaper paste. Richard sorts out public transport. And James gets beaten up by a boat.
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight. We have a race to Blackpool. The new Lamborghini comes to our studio. And at last, the Bugatti Veyron is on our track.
Jeremy: Tonight. We have a race to Blackpool. The new Lamborghini comes to our studio. And at last, the Bugatti Veyron is on our track.
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight. We throw a chair over a hedge. A Quite Interesting man drives our reasonably priced car. And for the first time ever the Bugatti Veyron races a McLaren F1.
Jeremy: Tonight. We throw a chair over a hedge. A Quite Interesting man drives our reasonably priced car. And for the first time ever the Bugatti Veyron races a McLaren F1.
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight: Is a Peugeot faster than two men? Has Lamborghini gone mad again? And can we build a whole car in 8 hours?
Jeremy: Tonight: Is a Peugeot faster than two men? Has Lamborghini gone mad again? And can we build a whole car in 8 hours?
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy: Tonight: James wears a stripey jumper. Richard drives a stripey Lamborghini, and we name the greatest car maker in the world.
Jeremy: Tonight: James wears a stripey jumper. Richard drives a stripey Lamborghini, and we name the greatest car maker in the world.
[During the opening sequence]
Richard: Tonight. Boris Johnson is the mayor in our Reasonably Priced Car. Jeremy attempts an old fashioned sensible road test of the new Ford Fiesta. And has communism ever produced a good car?
Richard: Tonight. Boris Johnson is the mayor in our Reasonably Priced Car. Jeremy attempts an old fashioned sensible road test of the new Ford Fiesta. And has communism ever produced a good car?
[during the outdoor toys test]
Jeremy: You do know why James is feeling more sedated than usual?
Richard: Tired, scared?
Jeremy: He's had an operation.
Richard: Where?
Jeremy: [whispers into Richard's ear] On his arse.
Richard: Ooh! That's... gotta hurt!
Jeremy: That's ...why [laughter]
Richard: With the saddle and everything!
James: [voiceover] It's true.
Jeremy: You do know why James is feeling more sedated than usual?
Richard: Tired, scared?
Jeremy: He's had an operation.
Richard: Where?
Jeremy: [whispers into Richard's ear] On his arse.
Richard: Ooh! That's... gotta hurt!
Jeremy: That's ...why [laughter]
Richard: With the saddle and everything!
James: [voiceover] It's true.
[during the Pagani Zonda R review Jeremy points out that the Zonda R is not road legal nor can it be used on a track]
Jeremy: [voiceover] So, if it's not for racing, and it's not for the road, what is it for? Well, this.
[cut to the Zonda R being driven very fast]
Jeremy: [voiceover] So, if it's not for racing, and it's not for the road, what is it for? Well, this.
[cut to the Zonda R being driven very fast]
[During the Police Car challenge, about Hammond's 'stinger']
Jeremy: [voiceover] It was unmistakably a doormat with some nails in it.
Jeremy: [voiceover] It was unmistakably a doormat with some nails in it.
[During the Police Car challenge, on sirens]
Jeremy: [voiceover] James then demonstrated his siren... [James' Lexus plays "Camptown Races" in a cheesy electronic voice]...which he'd got from an ice-cream van.
Jeremy: They're gonna be really impressed with that on an American police video.
James: No, they stop for an ice-cream. And then they're nicked.
Jeremy: May I? [voiceover] Mine was much more high-tech. [Shows Clarkson pressing button on child's sound toy, the car moos] Oh, wait, no, that's the cow.
[upon Richard's arrival]
Jeremy: [voiceover] James then demonstrated his siren... [James' Lexus plays "Camptown Races" in a cheesy electronic voice]...which he'd got from an ice-cream van.
Jeremy: They're gonna be really impressed with that on an American police video.
James: No, they stop for an ice-cream. And then they're nicked.
Jeremy: May I? [voiceover] Mine was much more high-tech. [Shows Clarkson pressing button on child's sound toy, the car moos] Oh, wait, no, that's the cow.
[upon Richard's arrival]
[During the Power Lap of the Lexus IS-F]
The Stig: [in Morse code] Too many gears.
The Stig: [in Morse code] I like Mr Sulu.
The Stig: [in Morse code] Too many gears.
The Stig: [in Morse code] I like Mr Sulu.
[During the power lap of the Tesla Roadster]
The Stig: [in Morse code] I like Gary Newman.
The Stig: [in Morse code] That pork tasted funny.
The Stig: [in Morse code] I like Gary Newman.
The Stig: [in Morse code] That pork tasted funny.
[During the ride to Manchester in their £100 cars]
Richard: If I were a rich man, bidibidibidibidibidibidibidiboom! Okay, I've done "If I Were a Rich Man." Any other suggestions?
Jeremy: If I were a tall man?
Richard: Funny...Very funny...
Richard: If I were a rich man, bidibidibidibidibidibidibidiboom! Okay, I've done "If I Were a Rich Man." Any other suggestions?
Jeremy: If I were a tall man?
Richard: Funny...Very funny...