Richard: There's no end of sensible, practical cars that'll happily rip your face off, and we owe it all to the M5.

Richard: There's only 2 knobs in it, well, 3 if you count the one who bought it.

Richard: This being a car programme, let's talk about houses.

Richard: This is the sort of power that planets are built with! Awesome!

Richard: This is the Talon riot control vehicle. Big, innit?

Richard: This whole survey throws up some fascinating stuff. Like the Porsche 911. A favorite car of mine, known for its... somewhat scary handling sometimes. Ninety-six percent of 911 owners in this survey claim to be absolutely satisfied with their car's handling, which is very good. It leaves four percent, and they probably were entirely satisfied with the handling of their 911 right up until they hit the tree. Then they changed their mind.
Jeremy: Yeah, but think of it this way. The people who got their bone marrow and their eyes are very satisfied with the handling of the 911.

Richard: Up until now, Suzuki has been well known for making small Jeeps and our Reasonably Priced Car. Everything else they made is about as interesting as that pine tree.. [points to another few pine trees]] or no maybe that one, that one and that one to the left.

Richard: Wait! I've died, I've died!
Jeremy: Goodbye!

Richard: Wait, I wanted to drive the Maserati!
Jeremy: [In a high-pitched voice, while driving away] Toodalooooooooo!

Richard: Well, if things get really nasty, I can always get stupid and just headbutt stuff.
[crashes the Talon through a portacabin]

Richard: What does this do?
James: No, don't pull that - !
Jeremy: [losing control of the Alfaab] Oh my GOD WHAT'S HAPPENED?!
James: Hammond's unlocked the steering!
Richard: Sorry!
James: You're in the wrong end, you idiot!
[...]
James: You pair of utter pillocks. You've ruined my car.

Richard: What I like is the way Jeremy's taken on a kind of a bouncer role here. I mean, just leaping around the audience looming at people.

Richard: What I really do want is a radio.
Jeremy: (Listening to his radio) Robbie Williams played through a 1980's Volvo stereo.
Richard: I'd listen to radio 3! Or The Archers on 4!
Jeremy: (singing along) Thoughts running through my head...
Richard: Oh, I wish I had a radio!
Jeremy: That's the worst stereo I've ever heard in my life.
Richard: God, I wish I had a radio!
Jeremy: (smug) But it is a stereo. And Hammond doesn't have one.

Richard: Wow! A TVR band! So presumably they play really loud, really fast and then burst into flames!

Richard: Yes, but the thing is the BBC saw that film and they said we'd been stupid. And they said we had to do something for...the normal person. And, well, [points at Clarkson] it was 'im again...