James: [Testing the Chrysler 300C on the beach] Stop interfering, you piece of... cheap electronic tat!

James: [to a pedestrian] Eh? No it's not a kit car, it's a Lamborghini... Philistine!

James: [to a pizzaboy at night in the woods] I suppose you are the headless pizzaboy of the apocalypse, are you?

James: [to Jeremy] Can I point something out?
Jeremy: What?
James: Hammond's walking around his car muttering about how he needs all of it.
Jeremy: I know exactly what he's doing.
James: He's formed an emotional attachment to his car.
Jeremy: It'll be like saying to him, "Could you cut bits off your wife?"
[Jeremy and James laugh]

James: [to Richard and Jeremy at the end of the challenge] Chaps...one observation I might have. Sailing: REALLY boring!

James: [to Richard] You're wearing tights. I can't take lectures on physics from a man in tights. Dancing, yes. Physics, no.

James: [voiceover] Because my car didn't catch fire, Jeremy got bored and became a yobbo.
Jeremy: How do you get the arse to kick out on this thing?

James: [voiceover] I think I know what to do at this point...
[mimicking Jeremy's catchphrase]
James: POWEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

James: [voiceover] Meanwhile, down in Oxford, the Stig was revealing something new about himself... he has a bladder!

James: [voiceover] So it looks fantastic and it sounds fantastic, and that's what matters when you're 15 and dreaming. But I'm not 15 any more, and after an hour at the wheel in 2003, my dream car turns out to be a bit of a nightmare.
James: It never occurred to me, for example, that I'd need a hammer to change gear. Or that depressing the clutch pedal would be a lot easier if I got a friend to help me. It's absolutely baking hot in here - look, I've got the window fully open [puts fingers through tiny slot of driver's window] - and there's also a really alarming smell of petrol.

James: [voiceover] With us out all we could hope was that Jeremy and Kiff the soundman would race on, cleanly and fairly.
Jeremy: Ram him! RAM!

James: [While driving someone] The interesting thing about the French nation, I think, because they are essentially peasants and Communists, is that they are quite good at the fairly small and fairly simple car.

James: [while on the train, updating Jeremy's position] Jeremy, I've just calculated, is about here [points on map, east of Dijon] at the side of the road, talking to a gendarme. But, in a few hours' time, he'll be up here [points to centre of Paris] in a place called Le Bastille. [Richard nearly spit-takes]

James: Acceleration, not nationalisation - of the banks (although obviously it's easy to make a credible case for state ownership of other industries such as utilities)!
Richard: Catchy!

James: Actually, it's a good point, because my dad had three of those, and none of the doors ever fell off.
Jeremy: No, it's not Rover's fault. They were built brilliantly.
Richard: In fact, I seem to remember that at the time, the SD1 was often praised for the way its... back doors... stayed on.
Jeremy: Exactly!