Jeremy: We know Saabs are driven by architects, yes? We know Audis are driven by people who play golf. We know Land Rover Discoveries are driven by murderers.
James: Ah, now...
Jeremy: What?
James: I'm going to have to pull you up on that, as I think you'll find murderers drive a Renault Espace.
Jeremy: Well, Kenneth Noye was a murderer, he had a Land Rover Discovery.
James: So he may have done, but Harold Shipman drove a Renault Espace, Fred West drove a Renault Espace, Peter Sutcliffe drove a Renault 16.
Richard: That's only because the Espace hadn't been invented.
James: Exactly.
Jeremy: This is a Top Gear top tip. If you're a policeman and there's been a murder in your area, simply arrest anyone who has a practical Renault. [laughter]

Jeremy: What I love about this, though, is it's called the Kubang, which, being a Maserati, is the noise it'll make the day the warranty runs out!

Jeremy: What kind of bird can have a gallon of guano in its gut and still take off and achieve sufficient altitude to defecate on my Range Rover?!
Richard: A big one!
James: Maybe it was a flying cow.
Richard: What?
Jeremy: James, you really do live in Hammersmith, don't you?
Richard: We should bear in mind this is the man who believes cows lay eggs, and he does. He said that on the show.
Jeremy: You say that --
James: I said eggs come from cows.
Richard: Well, you see...

Jeremy However, before you can do that [offer a car for sale to the public], it must pass a series of stringent EU tests. So we took the Eagle Thrust to the motor industry's top-secret proving ground, just off the A5 between Atherstone and Hinckley, near Fenny Drayton.

Jeremy: "A dog makes a better noise than that if you tread on it" (Regarding a Strokes song the show used).

Jeremy: "If it's not a democracy, it's a dictatorship. And I'm dictating that the Aston Martin V8 Vantage is the winner!" (the 2005 TG Awards)

Jeremy: "The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won't let me turn the traction control off!"

Jeremy: "Welcome To Greenpeace!" (After a video montage introducing the 7th series)

Jeremy: "Yes, Lucifer has come to our little world of milk and petrol." (Speaking of the BMW 535d allowed to come on TG's track, the first diesel powered car on their track, the "rule breaker")

Jeremy: (about a Ford Mustang going head-to-head against a Lotus Exige S) "It's got a 4.6 litre 300bhp V8 at the front, rear-wheel drive at the back, and a Stig in the middle."
Jeremy: (about the Exige S, a few seconds later) "And he's lined up alongside a plastic car that was made by some Norfolk turnip farmers, which is being driven by a fat bloke with a dicky hip."

Jeremy: (About the Porsche 996) "[...] it wasn't so much a car, more a place where a fat, balding, middle-aged man could go off and have his mid-life crisis... I liked it a lot!"

Jeremy: (After seeing May's Audi 80)"You really can't believe that's a hundred quid car. I mean, I was ready to go, 'Oh no, James has bought a hen house'."

Jeremy: (On the Ford F150) The worst car I ever drove was a Russian Jeep in Saigon. And the critical word in that sentence is "was".
Series 7

Jeremy: (On the Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren) "It sounds like the god of thunder gargling a hammer."

Jeremy: (Reading a safety warning on the Viper) "'This is an open vehicle - drive carefully.' No!"