Top Gear quotes
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[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy: Tonight: Which is faster, a Renault or a bicycle? Ellen MacArthur sets sail round our track; And how much supercar do you get for 10,000 pounds?
Jeremy: Tonight: Which is faster, a Renault or a bicycle? Ellen MacArthur sets sail round our track; And how much supercar do you get for 10,000 pounds?
[During the opening sequence.]
Jeremy:Tonight: the best toys in the whole world; a car made on Memory Lane; and Audi's new RS4 races a thin man up a thick cliff.
Jeremy:Tonight: the best toys in the whole world; a car made on Memory Lane; and Audi's new RS4 races a thin man up a thick cliff.
[following the Porsche Cayman power lap; the car has been disparaged by Jeremy for being made merely to fill a gap between the 911 and Boxster rather than to be as good as possible, and because their Producer has bought one as an "investment"]
Jeremy: And he did it in 1:26.7, so it goes...
[struggling to make a space on the board]
Jeremy: ...there. In front of a Corvette.
James: Interesting that you've made a space actually, because I reckon if you sent Porsche 911 and a Boxster around as well, the 911 would've gone about there [points randomly above the Cayman's time], and the Boxster - I dunno - about there [points about the same distance below the Cayman's time].
Jeremy: Yep, you're exactly right, and I'm just looking at this [points to the Cayman's time], 1:26, that's what it's worth.
Jeremy: And he did it in 1:26.7, so it goes...
[struggling to make a space on the board]
Jeremy: ...there. In front of a Corvette.
James: Interesting that you've made a space actually, because I reckon if you sent Porsche 911 and a Boxster around as well, the 911 would've gone about there [points randomly above the Cayman's time], and the Boxster - I dunno - about there [points about the same distance below the Cayman's time].
Jeremy: Yep, you're exactly right, and I'm just looking at this [points to the Cayman's time], 1:26, that's what it's worth.
[How reliable is your car]
James: Hang on, I've just noticed something here. Of the bottom 13 cars, 10 of them are French.
Jeremy: Yea, that's probably why they're burning so many in Paris.
[When asking the audience]
Jeremy: What? A satisfied Mercedes customer? In the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, we ought to have him stuffed.
James: Hang on, I've just noticed something here. Of the bottom 13 cars, 10 of them are French.
Jeremy: Yea, that's probably why they're burning so many in Paris.
[When asking the audience]
Jeremy: What? A satisfied Mercedes customer? In the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, we ought to have him stuffed.
[In Lisbon, about the full-face helmeted downhill biker he was about to race in a Renault Clio]
James: Now all that was left was to psyche out [Darth Vader].
James: Now all that was left was to psyche out [Darth Vader].
[in May's Cessna 182.]
Richard: We've got no bloody forks!
James: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man! And don't jig about because we're climbing... We're struggling in a minute...
Richard: I am not jigging! How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without it crashing into a mountain?
Richard: We've got no bloody forks!
James: Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man! And don't jig about because we're climbing... We're struggling in a minute...
Richard: I am not jigging! How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without it crashing into a mountain?
[Introducing Nigel Mansell]
Jeremy: He was the Formula 1 world champion and the American Indy car champion at the same time, and he was also Britain's highest paid sportsman, and he achieved all this despite being born with a moustache.
Jeremy: He was the Formula 1 world champion and the American Indy car champion at the same time, and he was also Britain's highest paid sportsman, and he achieved all this despite being born with a moustache.
[Jeremy driving a timed lap at Castle Coombe Race Circuit in his Maserati Merak]
Jeremy: 4,000 RPM! And that's all the rebuilt engine has to give!
Richard: That car is...
Jeremy:Why won't you rev?!
Richard: ...an appalling heap of junk.
Jeremy: 4,000 RPM! And that's all the rebuilt engine has to give!
Richard: That car is...
Jeremy:Why won't you rev?!
Richard: ...an appalling heap of junk.
[Jeremy has won two points for making his insurance quote two-hundred under the £500 bench-mark.]
Jeremy: Two points - for being a doctor!
Jeremy: Two points - for being a doctor!
[on his Lamborghini's chronic electrical problems]
James: The Italians invented electricity, as we all know.
James: The Italians invented electricity, as we all know.
[on his Lambo]
James: Right, the battery is discharging, the oil temperature is very high, the oil pressure is very low, the engine temperature is off the end of the scale, I'm running out of petrol... but the clock is correct!
James: Right, the battery is discharging, the oil temperature is very high, the oil pressure is very low, the engine temperature is off the end of the scale, I'm running out of petrol... but the clock is correct!
[on May's Cessna 182.]
Jeremy: What's it called?
Richard: [to Jeremy on the phone] Cessna 182; I think "182" refers to the number of quid it cost, I suspect.
Jeremy: What's it called?
Richard: [to Jeremy on the phone] Cessna 182; I think "182" refers to the number of quid it cost, I suspect.
[on Nigel Mansell's moustache]
Jeremy: I always thought it was interchangeable with your eyebrows.
Jeremy: I always thought it was interchangeable with your eyebrows.
[On Richard's "Fake" Ferrari (a Dino 308)]
Jeremy: There's no point going "I've bought my shirt at 'George' " [the ASDA-Walmart in-house clothing brand]; it's from ASDA! You've bought a 'George' car!
Jeremy: There's no point going "I've bought my shirt at 'George' " [the ASDA-Walmart in-house clothing brand]; it's from ASDA! You've bought a 'George' car!
[On the Ford Focus ST]
Jeremy: ROOOOO-NEEEEY!! (shouted out of the window of a bright orange Ford Focus ST, highlighting the typical chav nature of the driver he sees the car as being targeted at)
Jeremy: [On the power lap] It is very foggy out there today, but you'll note the Stig doesn't have his rear fog lights on, 'cause of course he's not a blithering idiot.
Jeremy: ROOOOO-NEEEEY!! (shouted out of the window of a bright orange Ford Focus ST, highlighting the typical chav nature of the driver he sees the car as being targeted at)
Jeremy: [On the power lap] It is very foggy out there today, but you'll note the Stig doesn't have his rear fog lights on, 'cause of course he's not a blithering idiot.