Jeremy: The next award is for the Gas Guzzler of the year. And the nominations are: The Range Rover sport, which achieved eight miles to the gallon. The Bugatti Veyron, which achieved four miles to the gallon. And Hemel Hempstead. That actually used up 60 million gallons of fuel, didn't move an inch!

Jeremy: We're having a bit of a break from the norm tonight because we're going to put a Member of Parliament in our reasonably priced car. He is the Minister for Transport, which means he is the Minister for Speed Cameras. No, no, no, no, no! This is the BBC, we will treat him with respect and impartiality! So, please welcome Beelzebub himself, Dr. Stephen Ladyman!

Jeremy: You can't rationalise cars like this. They're not something you buy with your head, you buy them with your heart, because you love them, and who could explain love? [...] That's ok, that we can't agree, because if you remember, we didn't come all the way through France to find the best supercar. We came here for that. This is the Millau Bridge. At a thousand feet, it's the tallest bridge in the world. It's so tall you could put Canary Wharf underneath the roadway. It's clever too, because it rises and falls by as much as ten feet, depending on the temperature and the season. It is a magnificent achievement. So what does it have to do with our big, heavy, thirsty, expensive cars? That is a supercar in the same way that that is a superbridge. They could've built it lower down with some RSJs and some planks of wood, but they didn't. They built something amazing, something astonishing, something wonderful, they went berserk. This bridge, then, like the cars that brought us here, is an example of humans doing what humans do: pushing boundaries, pushing ourselves, taking something that can't be done ... and then doing it.

Richard: [driving his Zonda in Paris, responding to horns blowing behind him] I know it's a supercar! It doesn't have vertical take-off!

Richard: [driving his Zonda in Paris] Don't scratch it!

Richard: [Into radio whilst sitting in a full-size remote control car as James crashes it] You are utterly useless!

Richard: [on Jeremy's Ford GT and its literally useless luggage compartment] The boot is there... purely to accommodate the boot lid!

Richard: [on multiple occasions] I have not had my teeth whitened!

Richard: [Voiceover whilst controlling a life-size remote control car towing a caravan about to be hit by the "Wrecking Ball of Doom"] For once, I was hoping the caravan would survive.

Richard: A dog oversteers, which is more fun...
Jeremy: ...than an understeering hyena.
Richard: So, you want a Mazda MX-5 because it's rear wheel drive.

Richard: I said "I'm an after-dinner speaker." [cue mocking by Jeremy & James]
Jeremy: You see...
Richard: I've done two.
James: [scoffs] Two hundred.
Jeremy: Anyway, what was your quote?
Richard: Well for a big corporate bank, 5 grand. I suppose, for a charity, I'll do it for 3 and a half...
Jeremy: No, what was your insurance quote?
Richard: Oh! Grand.. 1000 pounds.
Jeremy: That really includes, presumably, the 800 quid to cover your new expensive teeth.
Richard: I have not... had... my teeth whi-- I just haven't!
Richard: So... I actually lose... er, that's minus five... that's bad.
Jeremy: Ooh... Lose...! Englebert's going down, with his new teeth!

Richard: Look. A petrol station, the natural home territory of the Ford GT. And there it is, at the watering hole, drinking its fill. For the forty-seventh time today.

Richard: Now, I'm dying to know the verdict, but first, something more important... your hat! What were you thinking?! You were like the dog car in Dumb and Dumber [makes a face referring to the hat James was wearing in the 2WD Vs. AWD 911 challenge]
James: [leans toward Hammond] Listen! That hat is haute couture in rallying circles.

Stephen: [On the speed Camera] We paint them yellow, we put them where you can see them, and we put a big sign to tell you where they are coming. And we even printed a list on the internet. If you still got caught, whose fault is that?
Jeremy: You are the one with 9 points, and I haven't got any...

[After Hammond's review of the Marcos TSO]
Jeremy: [opening the door of the Marcos TSO] What's this?
Richard: Erm...
Jeremy: [showing what he found] It's a tooth-whitening kit.
Richard: It's a plant! It's a plant!
Jeremy: It was just a theory until a moment ago...