[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he is illegal in 17 U.S. states, and he blinks this way [motioning his fingers in a horizontal fashion]... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say he's wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue... we know him only, as the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that he's terrified of ducks, and that there's an airport in Russia named after him... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he's confused by stairs... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Stig]
Jeremy: Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

[on the Wiesmann MF3]
Jeremy: You see the body and you think it's going to be as advanced as mud - but honestly, it corners like a cylon interceptor.

[On whether Jeremy will get sleep on the Oslo race]
James: Well I would, and you would, but I don't think Jeremy will because he'll become obsessed by [impersonates Clarkson] power and winning!

[Starting Range Rover Sport vs. Challenger 2 Face-off]
Jeremy: So here we are on the start line: Goliath and David... Beckham.

[talking about the hovercraft]
Jeremy: Now, listen chaps, I have had the pleasure of driving one of these before and there are one or two things I need to tell you. First of all, okay, if you see an obstacle, like if we're going over there, if you see one of those trees coming towards you--too late, you're gonna hit it.
Richard: Alright, okay.
Jeremy: Well, you're not worried about that?
Richard: Well, if that's what happens��.
Jeremy: You'll turn the handlebars, that won't make any difference--straight on, okay? So you think, "Alright, I'll lift off the power, the air will come out of the sack, it'll dig in and you'll be jettisoned at 50 miles an hour into the tree--
Richard: Oh, so you hit the tree with or without the hovercraft.
Jeremy: Yes, that's your choice.

[to Ford, via the camera, after his new Ford GT had broken down]
Jeremy: If you don't mend it, I'm going to bone your dog!
[he then clarifies this as removing all of the dog's bones]