Top Gear quotes
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[reading viewer mail]
Richard: "Hi, Jeremy!" With an exclamation mark. Very irritating. This is from Claire, and she signed it with a little X, which is like a little kiss. "My boyfriend has just bought a new Audi A3." Fair enough. "Now he's driving me mad with this new game he has where he tries to plip the remote locking from as far away as possible. Is he normal?" Yes! Clearly!
Richard: "Hi, Jeremy!" With an exclamation mark. Very irritating. This is from Claire, and she signed it with a little X, which is like a little kiss. "My boyfriend has just bought a new Audi A3." Fair enough. "Now he's driving me mad with this new game he has where he tries to plip the remote locking from as far away as possible. Is he normal?" Yes! Clearly!
[speculating on the future-classic value of the Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.5-16 Cosworth]
Richard: Tempted? Well, if you are, you're best off going for one in black or silver with an automatic gearbox. Which is why I'm driving a pink one with a manual box. Obviously.
Richard: Tempted? Well, if you are, you're best off going for one in black or silver with an automatic gearbox. Which is why I'm driving a pink one with a manual box. Obviously.
[Talking about Lamborghinis]
Jeremy: Let me put it this way: a picnic, okay? If you went, you'd want the Germans to make the hamper so the handles don't fall off, but you'd want the Italians to make the food, yes? That's what you get with that [points to Murciélago]; it's a German-Italian picnic where the Italians have done what they're good at and the Germans have done what they're good at. With this [points to Gallardo], the Germans have done ze food.
Jeremy: Let me put it this way: a picnic, okay? If you went, you'd want the Germans to make the hamper so the handles don't fall off, but you'd want the Italians to make the food, yes? That's what you get with that [points to Murciélago]; it's a German-Italian picnic where the Italians have done what they're good at and the Germans have done what they're good at. With this [points to Gallardo], the Germans have done ze food.
[tapping on a mangled fender after running the Hilux into a tree]
Jeremy: That'll buff out.
Jeremy: That'll buff out.
[to an audience member who declared the Subaru Impreza Turbo "common"]
Jeremy: Your job's to shut up.
Jeremy: Your job's to shut up.
[Ugliest Car of the Year]
Jeremy: Now those were the nominations, but I'm overruling all of them. I'm playing my joker and I'm going to say that the winner is the BMW... range!
Jeremy: Now those were the nominations, but I'm overruling all of them. I'm playing my joker and I'm going to say that the winner is the BMW... range!
[watching a video of automotive tomfoolery from Saudi Arabia]
Jeremy: This is what happens when you don't let people drink.
Jeremy: This is what happens when you don't let people drink.
[watching himself on tape driving the reasonably-priced car]
Stephen: Look at him, doesn't he look a dick.
Stephen: Look at him, doesn't he look a dick.
[when the Hilux starts after having been washed out to sea in the Severn estuary]
Jeremy: [shouting over the engine roar] I do not believe this! It works!
Jeremy: [shouting over the engine roar] I do not believe this! It works!
[while interviewing Johnny Vegas]
Johnny: I wanted a people carrier, but you've slated it so much on the show.
Jeremy: Well people carriers are for people who've given up.
Johnny: Look at me!
Johnny: I wanted a people carrier, but you've slated it so much on the show.
Jeremy: Well people carriers are for people who've given up.
Johnny: Look at me!
[[on the RX-8's Wankel rotary engine]
Jeremy: It's not the torquiest engine in the world, or the most economical, but God it's smooth. You even get a little buzzer - ready? - to tell you to change gear at 9000 RPM 'cause it doesn't feel like it's running on anything as coarse and vulgar as petrol. Feels like it's running on double cream!
Jeremy: It's not the torquiest engine in the world, or the most economical, but God it's smooth. You even get a little buzzer - ready? - to tell you to change gear at 9000 RPM 'cause it doesn't feel like it's running on anything as coarse and vulgar as petrol. Feels like it's running on double cream!