[Richard Hammond has set fire to his motor home while trying to cook part of a three-course meal, and it has spread rapidly after failing to extinguish it]
Jeremy: He's actually set fire to metal, how's he done that?!

[The ADAC Test Results]
Richard: What would be a good score on this? A new car will score, a good car?
ADAC Man: 150 points.
Jeremy: I will go first with my score. Are we ready? 58!
James: 58. That's good. (looks at the results) 19!
Jeremy: 19? That's not so good.
James: No.
Jeremy: Hammond?
Richard: 6!
(James bursts in laughter, followed by the ADAC Man.)
...
Jeremy: Would you say the BMW is dangerous?
ADAC Man: Yes.

[Trying to adjust the settings in the Maserati Quattroporte GTS]
James: Manual, semi-automatic... oh, these are the weapons! [In the back, Jeremy and Richard laugh]

[When arguing over the fact that Richard's BMW M3 E36 car is more spacious than Jeremy's Ford Sierra Sapphire Cosworth and James' Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.3-16 Cosworth by the judges]
Jeremy: This is ridiculous!
Richard: The judges' decisions are final!
Jeremy: Say, say the BMW is the most spacious because it was made in Bavaria. It's...that's, that's like saying, "Who's the tallest Top Gear presenter? It's Richard Hammond because he's from Birmingham!".
Richard: No! It's not!
Jeremy "Who's the fastest driver of the three? It's James May because he's wearing his Mum's curtain!"
Richard: No, it really is, it really is the most spacious car. That's the fact, and that's the judges' decision, live with it!

[while Jeremy is supposed to be getting an ice cream for James and Richard...]
Richard: [narrating] While Jeremy was gone, I'm afraid we hatched a plan.[speaking to James] You see where it drops away to the edge of the cliff?
James: Yeah.
Richard: If we pushed his car there, just park it on the edge. He won't be able to go forwards obviously...
James: I know what you're thinking.
Richard: ...He'd never back it up.
James: That's brilliant!
Richard: Go on stick it down there, 'cause he'll see it from the bottom, he'll see the tower on the edge. [laughs]
James: He's taken the [keys].
Richard: Well push it, push it, push it!
[they start to push Jeremy's block of flats to the edge]
[cut to Jeremy who is licking an ice-cream on the pier, with the three cars on a cliff in the far background]
Jeremy: That's good. [takes another lick] That's very good.
[cut back to James and Richard]
James: The handbrake's off.
Richard: Just get it, just get it right to the edge...
James: Yeah yeah.
Richard: I reckon if we...
James: Oh hang on...
Richard: That's not...
James: Oh f***..!
[cut to Jeremy]
Jeremy: In weather like this, amongst scenery like that, holidaying in England...[takes a lick of the ice-cream]...even in a motor-home does make sense. [to the cameraman] Is that alright?
[as he's saying this his block of flats tumbles over the cliff, disintegrating into rubble in the process]
Jeremy: [seeing the crew look behind him] What?[turns to look, sees the wreckage of his car lying on the beach, and turns back] What's that?