That '70s Show quotes
0 total quotesRed: [referring to Fez's impending questioning by the INS] And I guess it might be fun to just sit back and watch Tarzan here crumble before the full force of the U.S Government.
Fez: Okay, that's it. Anwar I can deal with. Tonto, in the ballpark, but Tarzan... Tarzan is a white guy!
Red: Don't sass me, Tarzan.
Fez: Okay, that's it. Anwar I can deal with. Tonto, in the ballpark, but Tarzan... Tarzan is a white guy!
Red: Don't sass me, Tarzan.
Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.
Red: Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit.
Eric: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Red: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
[Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit]
Eric: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Red: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
[Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit]
Red: Eric, didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know, it's difficult to hear with your head up your ass.
Red: Eric, say that your job was sent to a plant in Guatela-who-the-hell cares. Now, are you gonna vote for the guy that let that happen?
Kitty: Red, President Ford didn't take your job, he took Nixon's.
Red: Eric, we're waiting!
Eric: Uh, well, I believe that everyone's political opinion is valid and worth hearing.
Red: Well, that's, that's perfect Eric. Use that line when you're up for Miss America.
Kitty: Red, President Ford didn't take your job, he took Nixon's.
Red: Eric, we're waiting!
Eric: Uh, well, I believe that everyone's political opinion is valid and worth hearing.
Red: Well, that's, that's perfect Eric. Use that line when you're up for Miss America.
Red: How stupid do you think I am? We know what you were doing in the car.
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Red: Yes we do.
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Laurie: [cheering] I do!
Eric: Of course you do! You...majored in it!
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Red: Yes we do.
Kitty: No. We don't know.
Laurie: [cheering] I do!
Eric: Of course you do! You...majored in it!
Red: I'm cracking down. And I'm cracking down hard! Starting right now, fun time is over! [stalks out of the kitchen]
Eric: So where was I for fun time?
Eric: So where was I for fun time?
Red: Kitty, I know these past few weeks have been hard on you, hard on all of us really. [Kitty glares at him] But especially hard on you. I mean since you found out you were . . .
Kitty: Just say it Red, barren!
Red: Well there's no reason for both of us to say it. So I got something to cheer my girl up.
Kitty: Oh good, cause I finished off the last bottle this morning.
Red: No, no. I got you a puppy. [holds up a Dachshund] He needs somebody to take care of him. His? mother got run over by a car.
Kitty: Did you run over a dog, Red?!
Kitty: Just say it Red, barren!
Red: Well there's no reason for both of us to say it. So I got something to cheer my girl up.
Kitty: Oh good, cause I finished off the last bottle this morning.
Red: No, no. I got you a puppy. [holds up a Dachshund] He needs somebody to take care of him. His? mother got run over by a car.
Kitty: Did you run over a dog, Red?!
Red: Pork chops? I thought we agreed to stick to a budget! Pork chops aren't cheap!
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!
Kitty: Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy!
Red: Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted.
Eric: See, when you say it, it just sounds weird
Eric: See, when you say it, it just sounds weird
Red: So, how's your friend Janice?
Laurie: Pregnant.
Kitty: Oh, she was such a nice girl, how does that happen?
Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall...
Red: Eric, for God's sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear!
Laurie: It's okay Red, I know what a fallopian tube is. I think Mom does too.
Laurie: Pregnant.
Kitty: Oh, she was such a nice girl, how does that happen?
Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall...
Red: Eric, for God's sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear!
Laurie: It's okay Red, I know what a fallopian tube is. I think Mom does too.
Red: Will you Just Listen?!
Kitty: Oh, Red. I'd love to talk to you, but I have to check the pressure in my tires.
Hyde: Hey Red. Kitty told Sam the presents weren't for her and I'm kind of in trouble. I got us each a bouquet of flowers for the ladies.
Red: Kitty! I got you roses! (to Hyde) See how it feels, dumbass?!
Kitty: Oh, Red. I'd love to talk to you, but I have to check the pressure in my tires.
Hyde: Hey Red. Kitty told Sam the presents weren't for her and I'm kind of in trouble. I got us each a bouquet of flowers for the ladies.
Red: Kitty! I got you roses! (to Hyde) See how it feels, dumbass?!
Rhonda: [hugs Fez] Oh, my God, Fez! A tornado? This changes everything. This could be our last night here on Earth!
Fez: Oh, no! I'm going to die a virgin!
Rhonda: Not if I can do something about it!
Fez: You can do what you want. There's a tornado coming!
Fez: Oh, no! I'm going to die a virgin!
Rhonda: Not if I can do something about it!
Fez: You can do what you want. There's a tornado coming!
Ricky: Tell me, what do you consider your best quality?
Eric: Well, I'm a real people person.
Hyde: I don't answer stupid questions.
Fez: I speak Dutch.
Kelso: My eyes. Oh, and I guess my butt, too.
Eric: Well, I'm a real people person.
Hyde: I don't answer stupid questions.
Fez: I speak Dutch.
Kelso: My eyes. Oh, and I guess my butt, too.