That '70s Show quotes
0 total quotesDonna: [to Jackie and Kelso] Finally! Where have you guys been?
Kelso: We had to look for the paper, and eat... and then some stuff happened, you know.
Eric: Your shirt's on inside-out.
Kelso: Yeah, that's the stuff.
Kelso: We had to look for the paper, and eat... and then some stuff happened, you know.
Eric: Your shirt's on inside-out.
Kelso: Yeah, that's the stuff.
Donna: Excuse me, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?
Jackie: Um, cheerleading camp.
Season 2
Jackie: Um, cheerleading camp.
Season 2
Donna: So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots.
Donna: So, what do you guys wanna do when you grow up?
Eric: Um, not touch dead people. Ever.
Eric: Um, not touch dead people. Ever.
Eric: [sitting in a jail cell] We're not all in trouble here. [to Kelso] Your parents have seven kids. They won't even notice you're gone. [to Fez] Your parents don't even live in this country. [to Hyde] And your mom? Probably one cell over.
Eric: Ah, come on, Hyde, did you have to write your name in the snow so close to the tree?
Eric: Do you know how many cool guys live in New York? There's like... Lou Reed, man!
Eric: Gentlemen, we have finally done it. A pot leaf on the water tower!
Fez: This is the proudest moment of my life.
Hyde: It doesn't look like a pot leaf.
Kelso: What?
Hyde: It looks like a hand giving the finger.
Kelso: It doesn't have to look perfect, Hyde, it's art.
Hyde: Get up and make it better!
Kelso: Fine!
[Kelso gets up on the railing and takes the paint brush.]
Hyde: Just make it wider. Yeah, right up there. Out further, though. Yeah, right up there-[Kelso leans to the right and falls off the water tower.]
Jackie: [Gasps] Oh, my God! Michael! [Branches snapping; thud.]
Hyde: Hey, Kelso!
Kelso: [weakly] Yeah?
Hyde: How's it look from down there?!
Kelso: It looks like it's giving me the finger!
Fez: This is the proudest moment of my life.
Hyde: It doesn't look like a pot leaf.
Kelso: What?
Hyde: It looks like a hand giving the finger.
Kelso: It doesn't have to look perfect, Hyde, it's art.
Hyde: Get up and make it better!
Kelso: Fine!
[Kelso gets up on the railing and takes the paint brush.]
Hyde: Just make it wider. Yeah, right up there. Out further, though. Yeah, right up there-[Kelso leans to the right and falls off the water tower.]
Jackie: [Gasps] Oh, my God! Michael! [Branches snapping; thud.]
Hyde: Hey, Kelso!
Kelso: [weakly] Yeah?
Hyde: How's it look from down there?!
Kelso: It looks like it's giving me the finger!
Eric: I had a nice discussion with Red and Kitty about foreplay.
Donna: I'm sorry.
Eric: Yeah, me too.
Donna: I'm sorry.
Eric: Yeah, me too.
Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.
Donna: Have you talked to Red about this?
Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? This is like, twice as bad!
Donna: Have you talked to Red about this?
Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? This is like, twice as bad!
Eric: Yeah, we'll throw a party, charge two bucks a head.
Kelso: [quickly] Two bucks a head. A keg is equivalent to seven cases; that's 168 beers. If we each drink three beers apiece...
Hyde: No way. Sophomores gonna drink one, maybe.
Kelso: True.
Hyde: Yeah, and the freshman, he's gonna drink a half.
Kelso: So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person, which means we can invite 112 people, and that's 224 bucks.
Hyde: Cash.
Kelso: Which is...
Kelso and Hyde: Decent!
Kelso: [quickly] Two bucks a head. A keg is equivalent to seven cases; that's 168 beers. If we each drink three beers apiece...
Hyde: No way. Sophomores gonna drink one, maybe.
Kelso: True.
Hyde: Yeah, and the freshman, he's gonna drink a half.
Kelso: So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person, which means we can invite 112 people, and that's 224 bucks.
Hyde: Cash.
Kelso: Which is...
Kelso and Hyde: Decent!
Fez: [seeing Laurie] Holy Mother!
Kelso: Hello Laurie.
Laurie: Hello Kelso, Hyde.
Fez: Who is the goddess?
Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister.
Hyde: She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.
Kelso: Hello Laurie.
Laurie: Hello Kelso, Hyde.
Fez: Who is the goddess?
Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister.
Hyde: She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.
Fez: I am telling you. I heard it. The devil is singing backwards on the record.
Hyde: It's not the devil, man! It's Congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock 'n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
Eric: Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny?
Kelso: Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!
Hyde: It's not the devil, man! It's Congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock 'n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
Eric: Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny?
Kelso: Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!
Fez: I may not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?
Jackie: Michael, who is this guy?
Kelso: Oh, that's Fez. He's the foreign exchange student.
Jackie: What did we exchange for him?
Jackie: Michael, who is this guy?
Kelso: Oh, that's Fez. He's the foreign exchange student.
Jackie: What did we exchange for him?