[Fez is absent from the Circle after Kelso and Fez have a falling out.]
Eric: Still no Fez, huh? Wow, Kelso, you must have really pissed him off. He hasn't been away this long since he discovered bubble baths.

[Fez is having another fantasy where he is part of the Forman family]
Kitty: Okay kids it's nighty night time.
Eric Night mom.
Hyde: Night mom!
Fez: That's my mama!
Eric: I love you Fez.
Hyde: I love you more!
Red: I love you the most! Good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs put their foot in your ass.
Kitty: Okay boys lights out and no staying up til 8:30 giving each other hugs!
All three boys: Awwwww!

[Fez is nursing a face wound Caroline gave to him after she sees Jackie kiss him]
Fez: Jackie, what was that kiss all about?
Jackie: Fez it's something that I wanted to do for a really long time. And I was wondering..you know, hoping, that maybe you and I could be together.
Fez: You want to be with me?!
Jackie: Yeah. I mean Fez, my life has been so crappy lately that you have been the one good thing.
Fez: Well. So you want me because you're lonely? Great, so that makes me what, your last resort?
Jackie: No Fez. You're wrong, it's not...
Fez: You know what Jackie, forget it. You went to be with Kelso AND Hyde. I don't wanna be your sloppy thirds. [Jackie goes to her room]

[Fez is uneasy after he admits having had a dream about Kelso]
Donna: That is awesome! Fez, you gotta tell us about this dream.
Kelso: Wha? No you don't gotta! Look at him! He's undressing me with his eyes, right now!
Fez: You undressed yourself you son of a bitch!!!
Eric: Fez, tell us what happened. And, and don't be afraid to use colorful words like sweaty, or fondle or forbidden. Go on.
Fez: Well...Kelso was a nurse. And there was ... sponging.
Kelso: Ohhh!
Fez: Hey, maybe, maybe the dream continued and we went to find some girls?
Kelso: Well, did it continue?!?
Fez: No! What could this mean?
Kelso: Well, isn't it obvious? It means that I'm gay!

[Fez reports to the gang about sleeping with Nina]
Jackie: No way, Fez I can't believe you finally lost your virginity.
Eric: Wait, this isn't like the time you bought a hamster, named it Virginity and then lost it, is it?
Fez: No, this is the real thing.
Kelso: I had a hamster once. Tied him to a helium balloon with a note. He made it all the way to Minnesota.
Eric: Alive?
Kelso: No, I'm gonna send a dead hamster up in a balloon.

[Fez takes a bottle out of Kelso's baby bag.]
Kelso: Don't touch that! It's breast milk!
Fez: Breast milk... from real breasts? [looks at Donna's chest] What don't they do?

[Fez tries out Twister on his own]
Fez: Ok, here we go. [spins the spinner] Right hand blue. [does game behind the couch.]
Eric: Fez, you can't play Twister by yourself.
Fez: That's where you're wrong, my friend. [pause] Right leg green. Oh, that's gonna be tough. [leg appears above the couch, then he slowly puts it back down]
Hyde: Hey, Fez, man. The circus called. They said they'd pay you fifty bucks a week if you can kiss your own ass.
Fez: Take a message.

[Flashback to 1968]
Young Eric: Thanks for walking me home, Steven. That redheaded girl hits really hard.
Young Hyde: Some advice: Never let a girl stand on your head like that. Bad for the rep.
Young Eric: Okay, Steven.
Young Hyde: And it's Hyde.
Young Eric: Thanks, Hyde. Hey, wouldn't it be funny if my last name was Seek? You know, "Hyde and Seek"?
Young Hyde: That's stupid... And you owe me a quarter.
[Eric hands it to him, then Kitty and Red come out from the house.]
Kitty: Well, now, who do we have here?
Young Eric: This is Hyde.
Kitty: Oh, you have a new little friend! Red, get the camera!
Young Hyde: I'm not his friend. I'm a hired gun.
Red: Kitty, don't embarrass the boy!
Kitty: Well, don't be silly! It's nice to have a new friend. Especially one who's so... dirty! [laughs] You know what's fun? [goes to bathroom, where Hyde and Eric are bathing together, Eric looks at his father with a "why?" look]
Red: I'm sorry, son. [leaves the room]
Young Hyde: If you ever tell anyone about this, I'll kill you. [Eric offers him a rubber duck, Hyde smacks it out of his hand.]
[Returns to the present]
Hyde: Now I have to kill you.

[Having been given money by Red to buy a jersey, Eric comes back to the stands wearing a Chicago Bears jersey, amidst a sea of Packers fans]
Red: Eric, how the hell can you wear a Bears jersey at a Packer game?
Donna: Okay, maybe he doesn't understand why it's wrong. Let me tell you in a way how you can understand. The Packers are like the Jedi, and you're wearing a Go Darth Vader jersey.
Eric: Uh, that's ridiculous. The Jedi don't play football. They play manu-Ka.
Hyde: Forman, this is worse than when you wore the Air Supply t-shirt to the Aerosmith concert.
Red: For God sakes, will you just take the damn jersey off?
Eric: No. You know what? I like rooting for the underdog, okay? I am the underdog in real life. I like Charlie Brown. I like the little engine that could. I like the Bears.

[Having been hired at WFPP, Donna is introduced to her new job by the manager, Max, when the DJ, Jerry Thunder, comes on air]
Jerry Thunder: Oh, yeah, this is Jerry Thunder [plays thunderclap sound effect] Coming to you on The Sound! And it looks like we got a new office girl. What's your name, baby?
Donna: [speaks to mic] Um, Donna.
Jerry: Mmm. Well, Donna, you are hot. So I'm gonna call you... Hot Donna.
Donna: Okay.
Jerry: You got yourself a boyfriend, Hot Donna?
Donna: [ignore Max' cutting gesture]Um... no.
Jerry: Mmm. That is good news, fellas. 'Cause Hot Donna is... hot!
Donna: Uhm Max, why'd you make me say that? 'Cause I have a boyfriend.
Max: Fine. You have a boyfriend. So does Elton John.
Donna: No way!
Max: Yeah! They're a fantastic couple. I love 'em. The point is... we're selling an image here... and an available Hot Donna is good for ratings.
Donna: Oh. Well, what the hell. Eric won't have a problem with this.
[Switch to Eric's basement]
Eric: What the hell? I have a problem with this!

[Having seen Hyde kiss Jackie at the garage, Eric and Donna try to make Kelso not see it]
Kelso: No, but I want a peanut butter and banana-[sees Hyde and Jackie; laughs] Why is Hyde kissing Jackie? [sees Eric and Donna's stares] What the hell? He's dead! [tries to walk out of kitchen]

[Hyde and Fez have just discovered that Leo actually has no million-dollar inheritance]
Fez: There is no money, you son of a bitch!
Leo: Oh, man, I guess all this stuff has to go.
Fez:: [to parrot] That means you, too, Feathered Frank! Good day.
Parrot: But, FEZ!
Fez: I said, good day!

[Hyde and Fez visit Kelso at the police academy. Officer Kennedy sees the trio]
Officer Kennedy: Cadet Mike.
Kelso: Officer Kennedy, you know my friends Hyde and Fez.
Kennedy: Yeah, I remember. But it seems to me their names were Trouble and Maker.
Hyde: Trouble and Maker. That's clever.
Fez: I think it's funny. They put us together, and we're troublemakers.
Kennedy: Shut up. I hope these two delinquents don't interfere with the progress you've been making here, Mike.
Kelso: No, sir. Not at all, sir.
Kennedy: Well, we'll see. I'll have my eye on you...on all of you.
Kelso: He's a good man.
Hyde: All right, you're really starting to creep me out. Help me grab the beer out of the car. I'm gonna drink until that moustache turns into a caterpillar and crawls away.

[Hyde confronts Jackie over her attending a bridal fair with Fez]
Hyde: Jackie, what the hell where you thinking?
Jackie: Look, Steven, I know it's a crazy thing to do, its just ... I kno-I wanted to know what it was like to be planning a life and a wedding and everything, I mean, that's all I've ever wanted ... And I was starting to think it was never gonna happen with you.
Hyde: [puts hands by face] Are we back on this again [faces her] Why can't you just be happy with what we've got?
Jackie: BECAUSE I'M NOT!, [voice breaking] Steven ... okay, look, I need to know that we have a future together ... Can't you just give me some kind of sign or just a tiny glimmer of hope that maybe someday we'll get married?
Hyde: Jackie? I don't know.
Jackie: That's all you ever say. Please Steven, please just say anything besides I don't know. Anything else.
Hyde: I don't know...[looks down]
Jackie: Well then I can't be with you anymore.
Hyde: Jackie, don't threaten me, okay? It's not gonna work.
Jackie: I'm not threatening you, Steven, I can't waste anymore of my time on you if it's not gonna. happen for us ... Okay, well, at least now I know.

[Hyde is in the hospital after falling off the water tower while with Donna]
Fez: You look dorky.
Donna: Hyde, I am so sorry. I don't know my own strength. I mean, I guess I'm still all bulked up from J.V. Wrestling. You know what? This isn't my fault. This is Eric's fault for taking off.
Fez: Hey, look at the bright side. Now I can spy on you from Eric's empty bedroom instead of climbing up a tree where there's no place to put my juice box.
Kelso: Man, I can't believe I missed you falling out of the water tower. So I'm at home, and I'm watching Scooby-Doo, and I think to myself: "You know what? You should go and hang out with Hyde and Donna." And then I think, "No, because maybe Scooby and Shaggy found a real ghost this time." But it wasn't. It was just another crazy old guy.
Jackie: [enters room] Oh, Steven, I heard what happened.
Hyde: And you brought me flowers?
Jackie: No, these are for me. My boyfriend fell off the water tower. So what, Donna, you're alone, and you want me to be alone, too?
Kitty: Okay, Steven, get on home. I'll take care of you later. Trade you a kiss for a lollipop.
Hyde: I don't need that baby crap [he waits till the guys are out of the room, turns back and gives Kitty a kiss]