[Donna and Eric talk about the gang's disco date]
Eric: Donna, I hate dancing.
Donna: Why did you go?
Eric: I like you.
Donna: So... you're in like with me?

[Donna and Midge are hanging out]
Donna: So ... here we are ... together... again.
Midge: Hmm, I'm just loving the time we spend together Donna. In my new book 'Our Mothers, Our Selves,' it says we're supposed to be friends. We should talk to each other and listen. Your stupid father never listens.
Donna: Is there anything in your book about not insulting my father?
Midge: Well I don't know, I've only read the first chapter. Oh, okay, no more talking about your father. So, how do you like the clogs I bought you?
Donna: They're awesome!
Midge: Good! Cause your father's an ass!

[Donna faces Shelly over panties found in Eric's car]
Donna: Hey, next time you fool around with someone else's boyfriend, why don't you take your panties when you're done?!
Shelly: Those aren't mine! Mine are white, and cotton, with a little pink rose on the front.
[Eric, Fez, and Kelso visualize the panties before Donna snaps them out of the daydream]
Donna: So these are some other girl's panties?!
Kelso: Whoa-whoa-whoa. No offense, Donna- [to Eric] but dude, you're on fire!
Shelly: You know what Eric, I don't need this. [Walks out of the Hub, but looks back at Eric] Oh, and by the way, your car smells like cheese.
Eric: Donna, look, you have to believe me, I have no idea whose panties those are.
Midge: [walks in] Donna, [takes the panties] those panties are mine.
Kelso: ERIC!! Oh, oh....[kneels together with Fez and 'worships' him] YOU ARE A GOD! [raises arms again] A GOD, I SAY!
Donna: [sets Midge aside] Mom, why were your panties in the Vista Cruiser?
Fez: [interrupts Midge] And please be as specific!
Midge: Donna, when you've been together as long as your father and I have, you need to do creative things in creative places. [Kelso and Fez stand up, cringing at the thought]

[Donna is cleaning up the garden, when she walks to the hedge and runs into Eric]
Eric: Hey.
Donna: 'Hey'? Is that all you have to say to me?
Eric: Well, what do you have to say to me?
Donna: Huh. How about this? 'Hey.'
Eric: I'm not wrong!
Donna: You are wrong, you dill-hole! [walks off]
Eric: Oh, great. That's nice. That's really mature. Double dill-hole! [to himself] Double dill-hole?!

[Donna is preparing to broadcast from Grooves]
Donna: You guys, the radio station asked me to host an on-air fundraiser for the Children's Library. A year ago I was doing the Farm Report and now it's gonna be Hot Donna all day long. That right. I'm gonna be referring to myself in the third person from now on.
Randy: Wait. You're not doing the Farm Report anymore? [makes hillbilly accent] Well how am I supposed to know if my corns-a-gonna grow?
Donna: And I told my boss, that I'm not getting off the air until I've raised 500 bucks. Which'll be easy, cause my fans do anything I say. Like, there was this one time, when I told everybody to get up and dance when I played Tear The Roof Off The Sucker. There was almost a riot at the prison!
Jackie: [sarcastic] Yeah. Thanks a lot Donna. My Dad had to hide under his bunk.

[Donna just told Jackie what Eric tried to do during their last 'session']
Jackie: He did? What the heck for?
Donna: I don't know. In what universe is that sexy?
Jackie: Only one... the skinny, pervert universe.
Donna: It was just so strange. I mean, usually he just sticks to, like, two or three key moves.
Jackie: You know, I bet it's because of that nudie flick they saw yesterday.
Donna: They went to an X-rated movie?
Jackie: Didn't Eric tell you?
Donna: No. God, why would Eric go see something like that? I mean, is our sex life so boring that he has to sneak around and watch other people do it?
Jackie: Donna, of course it is. It's okay.

[Donna just told Kitty about her and Jackie discovering Bob and Pam in a hot tub]
Kitty: Bob and Pam are in a hot tub?
Red: [overhears and enters kitchen] Pam's in a hot tub?
Kitty: There, you did it again, and this time you didn't even say Bob!
Red: Yes I did.
Kitty: No you didn't.
Red: Yes I did...and you would have heard it too if it hadn't been for all that damn tea! You know, I fought a war to keep that crap out of this country, and you had to bring it into my house, and you call yourself an American!? Ha! [leaves kitchen]

[Donna leaves after finding out that Eric kissed Laurie's friend, Kate]
Hyde: Hey Donna, you wanna talk?
Kelso: I guess she didn't take it well.
Red: Take what well? [looks at Kelso]
Kelso: [smiles] Eric made out with Kate.
Red: Anything else?
Fez: Your son is a whore!

[Donna separately asks Kitty, Laurie, and Midge how their own first times felt]
Donna: Ok, so just out of curiosity, no reason, what was your first time like?
Midge: Oh, my first time was with a guy named...your father.
Laurie: My first time was with this guy named Darren. It was really special! Oh no, wait. It wasn't Darren, it was...Robert? I think, Robert!
Kitty: Well, um, Red and I waited until after we were married. Like, five seconds after we were married. We said, to heck with the receiving line and hit the nearest closet!
Midge: Oh, I remember running my hands through his long blonde hair and listening to his beautiful British accent. [has a long stare, but snaps out of it] You see, because, back then your father was blonde and British!
Laurie: No, no no no, not Robert. There was this guy...what was his name? Or was it his brother? It'll come to me.
Kitty: Good god, that dress must've had a hundred buttons down the back, but Red got it off in no time! You wouldn't know it to look at him but Red's got very nimble fingers. Nimble!
Midge: I just remember it was very disappointing. And I never saw that guy again. I mean, your father. I mean, your father was the first. Don't tell your father, ok?
Laurie: I wanna say Billy. But that's not right. Anyway, I just remember that he wasn't very good.
Kitty: And it was just wonderful. Eventually.

[Donna starts changing her blouse when Kelso suddenly comes in]
Kelso: Oops, sorry!
Donna: [covers self in time] Kelso! Kelso, we just talked about this today!
Kelso: Damn, Donna. If you'd just let me see them, I'd stop!
Donna: [grunts] Fine. [flashes Kelso]
Kelso: They're beautiful...[collapses]

[Donna waits for Eric on the Vista Cruiser, reminiscing about their relationship.]
Eric: Happy New Year.
Donna: Eric!
Eric: Sorry I'm late. Caught the last flight out. So... awkward! [both of them laugh] So, how are you?
Donna: I start college next week.
Eric: Oh, that's awesome. [long pause]
Donna: So, what, you just came back here for New Year's Eve?
Eric: Look Donna, when I left, I was so positive that I was doing the right thing, but now I've been gone so long --
Donna: [teary] Eric, things are a lot different now.
Eric: Yeah, it's just... Donna, I thought about you, like, every day. And you know what? It turns out that Red was right. I am a dumbass. [pause] Donna, I'm sorry. [Kisses Donna]
Cast

[During a circle, where the issue of Eric trying to convince Bob out of enrolling Donna in a Catholic school is discussed]
Eric: It's true. I'm gonna march over there and talk to Bob... I love a good march. My birthday's in March, then it's on to April. April Showers. Oh, The Seduction Of Eric Forman, starring the insatiable April Showers! [laughs]

[Eric and Donna are at the Hub talking about Eric's low S.A.T. score.]
Eric: Hey Donna! I got an 800. We're lucky I can wash myself.

[Eric and Donna are browsing the classified ads for places to rent near UW-Madison]
Donna: Eric, this place has a washer and dryer!
Eric: Wait. A washer and free water? My God, its like there's no reason to come home!
Kitty: [Kitty laughs] Excuse me. [walks outside to Red who is fixing the car] A washer and dryer, Red! They are going to have a washer and dryer! That redheaded harlot is going to be Shouting out my baby's grass stains! What about my last summer with my youngest child? I bet you weren't thinking about that when you went fishing! I bought sparklers for the fourth of July! He loves sparklers and now he's leaving and what are we going to do for THE FOURTH OF JULY?!
Red: Uhh... [smiling] There's a car show in Kenosha.
Kitty: A car show? I don't want to go to a goddamn car show in FUCKING KENOSHA! I just want three more fucking months with my baby boy, and now they're gone because of your bullshit! WAY TO GO DUMBASS! [storms back to house]

[Eric and Donna are giving the others "special" brownies to show that there are no hard feelings about the dine-and-dash.]
Hyde: Special brownies... Like the special kind of special?
Donna: The best kind of special.
[After Hyde, Fez, Jackie and Kelso eat the brownies]
Fez: Something's wrong. I don't feel special.
Jackie: Me, neither.
Hyde: Yeah. I don't think those were special brownies, man.
Eric: Oh, no, no. They're special. Say, Donna, do you have any more of that special ingredient we used?
Donna: Well, I certainly do, Eric. [brings out a box from a shirt pocket] Chocolate Super-Lax.