Married... with Children quotes
396 total quotesAll Seasons
Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Kelly: I'm an actress, I don't know if I can go parading around a bunch of strangers I haven't slept with yet.
Kelly: I'm Kelly. Remember, we met in the boys' shower the other day?
Matt: Oh, yeah, the soup girl.
Kelly: The soap girl. S-O-P-E.
Matt: Oh, yeah, the soup girl.
Kelly: The soap girl. S-O-P-E.
Kelly: If God wanted people to shoot a bow, He wouldn't have invented assault weapons.
Kelly: It's just a junior prom. I can do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.
Bud: That's sort of like one of your real dates, right?
Season 10
Bud: That's sort of like one of your real dates, right?
Season 10
Kelly: Let's call him Lucky. Lucky Bundy.
Al: I was saving that name for my tombstone.
Al: I was saving that name for my tombstone.
Kelly: Maybe we're worrying about nothing, I mean, maybe he'll come home in a good mood.
[Al enters.]
Al: Why doesn't the world die?
[Al enters.]
Al: Why doesn't the world die?
Kelly: Mom! Bud's got more fingers then I do.
Peg: Did you count both hands, honey?
Kelly: Oh.
Peg: Did you count both hands, honey?
Kelly: Oh.
Kelly: Mom, Dad, Bud: you will never guess what I got.
Bud: A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take Virginity for $100.
Kelly: Well, that's funny. Nobody will take yours for less than $1000.
Bud: A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take Virginity for $100.
Kelly: Well, that's funny. Nobody will take yours for less than $1000.
Kelly: Mom, when I grow up I want to be just like you. I want to do nothing, I want to be nothing.
Kelly: Oh, Daddy you're so good. I'm sure in your next life you're gonna be re-incarcerated.
Kelly: This is the lowest thing I've ever done. Okay, the lowest thing I've ever been paid to do. Okay, the lowest thing I've been paid to do that I didn't enjoy.
Kelly: Today, when I, like the rest of the nation, was wondering where East Dakota was, the weatherman told the manager that either I went or he went.
Marcy: Oh, well. Losing your first job isn't so bad.
Kelly: Me? They canned him like a tuna. He was not the one wearing a miniskirt!
Marcy: Oh, well. Losing your first job isn't so bad.
Kelly: Me? They canned him like a tuna. He was not the one wearing a miniskirt!
Kelly: Well this is just as much your fault. If you had of doubted me like you always do this never would have happened.
Bud: Nice try Pyronymph!
Bud: Nice try Pyronymph!