Rebecca: I don't understand why nobody wants to come back to my beautiful tearoom.
Frasier: Well Rebecca, a restaurant should be like a mistress. See one shouldn't feel she's over eager to please. It's far more enticing if you need her more than she needs you.
Lilith: Who is this she you're talking about, Frasier?
Frasier: Purely hypothetical.
Lilith: It's a little strange for a happily married man to go prattling on about a mistress.
Frasier: Oh come on, hon. Give me this one. You already heard me admit I was whipped in front of the boys.
Lilith: That was good.

Rebecca: It doesn't mean I will never see you guys. I can still come in as a customer. Of course with work and all I can't stay for 10 to 12 hours at a stretch like you guys.
Norm: That's okay. You can be in the part timers club. They sit over there.
Cliff: And when you're ready to commit you'll let us know.
Norm: Yeah like Phil there. He's right on the verge.

Rebecca: This is about us.
Sam: What about us?
Rebecca: Sam, we have been friends too long to let it end this way. And I just came back to say that I'm sorry I ran out earlier in a huff. And that I knew you weren't coming on to me. And when you said I wasn't good that it wasn't just some trick to get me back into bed it was because you were being honest because I am a lousy lover.
Sam: No, sweetheart you're not.
Rebecca: Sam, it's alright. It's not like I haven't heard it before.
Sam: You're a fantastic lover.
Rebecca: I'm a dud and I know it. Robin just didn't realize it because he's English.
Sam: Listen. I wouldn't say you were good if you weren't.
Rebecca: No, no Sam that doesn't wash. You've been after me for three years and you finally got me. I mean if I was even adequate I know that you would've run out there and told every bozo in the bar.
Sam: You don't think I was dying to do that? It was making me crazy. It's just that I thought I would be betraying our friendship. I've never had a friend before.
Rebecca: You have lots of friends!
Sam: No, no I've never had a friend before.

Sam: Are you drinking again?
Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.
Sam: So you want to talk? Is this about getting married tomorrow? Are you getting cold feet?
Rebecca: Certainly not. I am perfectly prepared to marry Robin and spend the rest of my life wth him. I'm just not particularly looking forward to it.
Sam: You know I don't get that. All you've done the last two years is talk about getting married to this guy.
Rebecca: Well I'll tell you. It is one thing to love somebody who's serving time for you. It's another thing serving time with them.

Sam: Do you think guys have a biological clock? You know like they know it's time to have a kid.
Carla: Oh yeah. Usually when they say, "Hey Carla, you want to go out tonight?"
Season 10

Sam: Guys listen up for a second please. When Rebecca comes in she's probably not going to be feeling too good so just take it easy on her. All right?
Norm: What's the problem, Sam?
Sam: She called off the whole wedding.
Carla: Get out.
Sam: I went over there last night. She was a real mess. She was clear about one thing. She doesn't love [Robin] and there's no way she's gonna marry him.
[Rebecca enters wearing a wedding dress with a smile on her face]
Norm: Yeah Sam, she's in agony.
Lilith: Ordinarily Sam, people don't deal with depression by putting on a wedding dress and acting giddy.
Carla: Except maybe Clavin.

Sam: Hey, any of you guys tried that new steakhouse on Commonwealth?
Norm: No.
Sam: It's great. Beautiful waitresses in tiny little wench outfits.
Norm: Yeah, what did you have?
Sam: Beautiful waitress in a tiny little wench outfit. I'm going back too.

Sam: Hey, this had been driving me crazy. I got to know something Paul.
Paul: What Sam?
Sam: I'll try to put this as delicately as I can because you're my friend and I like ya and I don't want to insult ya. Why would any girl be caught dead with you when she could be with me?
Paul: You thought that would offend me?
Sam: I'm serious. What did you do? Slip her a mickey or something?
Paul: Well since you asked me so nicely Sam, I'll tell ya. Paula is what we like to refer to as a chubby chaser.
Sam: You're kidding. You mean she like to go out with guys who are uh...
Paul: Portly Sam. The word is portly.

Sam: How's your love life? I mean the physical part?
Woody: I can't speak for Kelly but I'm looking forward to it.
Sam: You're telling me that you and Kelly haven't slept together?
Woody: Well, we did once when we went to see Old Gringo, but the whole row was snoring.
Sam: Well, I think this may be your problem, Wood?
Woody: I always figured we'd wait until after we were married. That's the way everybody in Hanover does it, except for that couple that teaches art at the high school.

Sam: I'm Sam Malone by the way.
Henri: Oh! I've heard about you in France.
Sam: Oh, you follow baseball?
Henri: No. Stewardesses.

Sam: Say Carla, I'm babysitting tonight. You got any advice for me?
Carla: Sure. Here's everything you need to know about babies. Remember you're the boss. Don't let them give you any lip. And if they start to act crabby stick a bottle in their mouth.
Sam: Great, okay, good.
Kelly: Okay I'm ready.
Carla: Here's everything you need to know about customers. Remember you're the boss. Don't let them give you any lip. And if they start to act crabby, just stick a bottle in their mouths.

Sam: We're sorry man. We feel bad because we know how much the Hungry Heifer means to you.
Norm: You don't know the half of it Sammy. I love the Heifer. I don't know what I'm gonna do without that place. It was like my home away from Cheers.

Sam: What just happened here guys?
Norm: Well you got shot down, Sam.
Sam: You know you read about those things but you never think they're going to happen to you.

Sam: [Frasier] left here pretty angry. I keep calling the house. The machine keeps picking up.
Carla: Oh, Lilith answers?

Sam: [Valerie's] really nice, isn't she Wood?
Woody: She's really nice, sweet, warm, and wonderful. You know back in Hanover, me and my brother used to have a name for a girl like that.
Sam: What was that?
Woody: Mom. By the way, Sam, if I ever catch you anywhere near my mother you better pray God takes you before I do.