Cheers quotes
515 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3
Season 4
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Season 11
Anthony: Forget him, my father's a bum.
Carla: Hey don't you talk about your father that way.
Anthony: Okay he's a sleazy bum.
Carla: That's better.
Carla: Hey don't you talk about your father that way.
Anthony: Okay he's a sleazy bum.
Carla: That's better.
Candi: What's your name?
Frasier: Oh, uh... Dr. Frasier Crane.
Candi: I'm Candi.
Frasier: Ah, yes, so I see from your necklace. Candi with an "I".
Candi: Well, I used to spell it with a "Y" but nobody ever took me seriously, so then I switched it to an "I". You know, like Gandhi.
Frasier: Yes, yes. I understand that's why he did it.
Frasier: Oh, uh... Dr. Frasier Crane.
Candi: I'm Candi.
Frasier: Ah, yes, so I see from your necklace. Candi with an "I".
Candi: Well, I used to spell it with a "Y" but nobody ever took me seriously, so then I switched it to an "I". You know, like Gandhi.
Frasier: Yes, yes. I understand that's why he did it.
Carla: [about going to the Postman's Ball with Diane, Cliff, and a blind date] This is going to be a laugh a minute. An evening with the Stick, the Nerd, and Door Number Three.
Carla: [on dancing with Nick] It was a magical moment. You know it was like I was transported back in time. I wasn't a tired old woman with six kids. I was a fresh young teenager with two kids.
Carla: [to an upset Diane] What is it this time, bleach bag?
Sam: Carla, I'm the employer here. I can handle this. What is it this time, bleach bag?
Sam: Carla, I'm the employer here. I can handle this. What is it this time, bleach bag?
Carla: Diane, I heard screams.
Diane: Oh I dreamt I was being murdered.
Carla: Was I the one who was murdering you?
Diane: No.
Carla: Was I helping in any way?
Diane: Oh I dreamt I was being murdered.
Carla: Was I the one who was murdering you?
Diane: No.
Carla: Was I helping in any way?
Carla: Sam Malone never ages. It's one of life's great truths. Let me tell you something Sammy, when you're 87 you'll still be a hunk to me. Of course I'll be senile and blind.
Sam: And pregnant.
Carla: Yeah, probably.
Sam: And pregnant.
Carla: Yeah, probably.
Cliff: [to Janet Eldridge] I will deliver you the postal vote.
Carla: Yeah, too bad it will be to the wrong address.
Carla: Yeah, too bad it will be to the wrong address.
Cliff: Come on Diane. She's your ma. She carried you for nine months.
Diane: Eight, I was premature.
Carla: Couldn't wait to get out and start yappin'.
Diane: Eight, I was premature.
Carla: Couldn't wait to get out and start yappin'.
Cliff: Well Carla, it is common knowledge I'm scientifically handy. As a matter of fact I spent a good part of my youth in a laboratory.
Carla: And you'd still be there today if the chimpanzee hadn't taught you how to open your cage.
Carla: And you'd still be there today if the chimpanzee hadn't taught you how to open your cage.
Diane: [about Jack Dalton] There's not much to say. He's a man I dated a bit in Europe.
Woody: Was that before or after you dumped Dr. Crane and sent him into an alcoholic tailspin?
Diane: After.
Frasier: How long after?
Diane: Days.
Woody: Was that before or after you dumped Dr. Crane and sent him into an alcoholic tailspin?
Diane: After.
Frasier: How long after?
Diane: Days.
Diane: [about Sam] I think he might be hurt by this liaison with Janet Eldridge.
Carla: Yeah you're right. He's havin' a lot of laughs and a hot time with a beautiful woman. The man is a glutton for punishment.
Carla: Yeah you're right. He's havin' a lot of laughs and a hot time with a beautiful woman. The man is a glutton for punishment.
Diane: Dennis Kaufman is a brilliant puppeteer. He does a wonderful Punch & Judy.
Carla: He better have a wonderful punch, if he's going to dress like Judy.
Carla: He better have a wonderful punch, if he's going to dress like Judy.
Diane: Do this for me and I'll owe you a big big favor. That doesn't involve sex, sex, or sex.
Sam: How about sex?
Diane: Or sex.
Sam: How about sex?
Diane: Or sex.
Diane: Does Sam's behavior give you pause? Methinks the man doth protest too much.
Woody: Excuse me, Miss Chambers, but shouldn't it be "I thinks"?
Carla: Not in your case, Woody.
Woody: Excuse me, Miss Chambers, but shouldn't it be "I thinks"?
Carla: Not in your case, Woody.