Carla: Eddie's got an extra ticket to the RV show for tonight, Coach. How's that sound?
Coach: Terrific.
Carla: Well go ahead. I'll cover for ya.
Coach: Hot dog!
Carla: Some luck, huh Eddie?
Eddie: Well, I guess I'm not going to get a good night kiss.
Carla: You might if you're nice to him.

Carla: Hey, wait. I got an idea.
Diane: You mean you actually conceived something besides a child.
Carla: Whoa... a bitter and unprovoked attack. I like it.

Carla: How come you're not going on that fishing trip, Coach?
Coach: I don't like the smell of them.
Carla: Yeah, fish stink.
Coach: No, the guys. Out in that sun all day, stuck in the muck. Who needs it?

Carla: Nick, what the hell do you want?
Nick: Hey, is that the kind of hello I deserve?
Carla: No, bend over and I'll give it to you.

Carla: What a night. Two hundred bucks in tips.
Coach: What are you gonna do with all that money, Carla?
Carla: I am going to spend it all on my kids.
Coach: Good girl.
Carla: How many gunny sacks and one way tickets do you think it will buy?

Carla: You know I don't ask for much in this life; fresh fish, ten cents off on laundry detergent, volcanic boils all over my ex-husband, and the Sox in the Series again before I die.

Cliff: [about women] They're only good for one thing.
Carla: And for you, not even that.

Cliff: As long as I'm carrying this bag there's one thing that will never touch these lips.
Carla: You mean there's something that wants to?

Cliff: I hate answering machines. I never know what to say to them.
Carla: Gee and you're such a whiz with people.

Cliff: There's a lovely young thing. Perhaps I should just go and make my move.
Carla: Yeah go ahead and faint.

Coach: [about Sam] I never realized what a brain he is. I study all the time -- he sleeps in the classroom. He never takes a note and still he gets the great grades. No wonder he's Miss Purdy's favorite.
Diane: Miss Purdy?
Coach: Yeah, our beautiful school-teacher.
Diane: And Sam is her favorite?
Coach: Well, uh, I can't say that; but, uh, Sam's the only one I ever saw her kiss.
Diane: They kiss?
Coach: Yeah. I saw them smoochin' in the parking lot. I was putting up a notice there on the bulletin board.
Diane: With probing tongues?
Coach: No, Diane. With a thumbtack and my thumb.

Coach: Boy Doc, you tell great stories.
Frasier: That was Poe.
Coach: Don't be modest, it was great.

Coach: What will it be, Normy?
Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normy?
Norm: Going down?

Diane: [about Amanda] Maybe I'm being an alarmist. She wouldn't be out if she still had problems.
Carla: You're out.