Cheers quotes
515 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8
Season 9
Season 10
Season 11
Frasier: Very often that's the best thing you can do when you're not getting along with a family member. Remove yourself entirely from them. Find some neutral place where you can take the time you need to be away from them.
Norm: You really think so, Frase?
Frasier: Well that's why we're all here, isn't it?
Norm: You really think so, Frase?
Frasier: Well that's why we're all here, isn't it?
Frasier: Woody, I think it was a great sacrifice for you to give your clothes to Rebecca. It puts me in mind of another novel by my favorite British author. You know who I mean. I'll give you a hint, Charles...
Norm: In Charge?
Frasier: Are you people really this ignorant or do you do this just to torture me?
Norm: Sometimes the two go hand in hand.
Norm: In Charge?
Frasier: Are you people really this ignorant or do you do this just to torture me?
Norm: Sometimes the two go hand in hand.
Gary: Fine, eight years of humiliating you weenies is enough. I'm going to find a tougher gang to humiliate.
Woody: You can look all over Boston, you won't find any weenies tougher than us.
Woody: You can look all over Boston, you won't find any weenies tougher than us.
Henri: Are you ready?
Woody: Yeah I just shaved. How does my face look?
Henri: As smooth as your girlfriend Kelly's bottom.
Woody: Is that a joke?
Henri: But of course it is. You have to shave much closer.
Woody: Yeah I just shaved. How does my face look?
Henri: As smooth as your girlfriend Kelly's bottom.
Woody: Is that a joke?
Henri: But of course it is. You have to shave much closer.
John Hill: My hat check girl is missing from her post. You haven't perchance seen her?
Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault. Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of your employees. You know that really ticks me off.
[A girl comes out of Sam's office]
Miss Kenderson: Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up.
Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault. Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of your employees. You know that really ticks me off.
[A girl comes out of Sam's office]
Miss Kenderson: Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up.
Lilith: Ah Frasier, here you are. Where are the dysfunctional men?
Carla: Throw a rock.
Carla: Throw a rock.
Lilith: Do you make a drink for failures here at Cheers?
Sam: Hold on a second. Phil, what do you drink?
Phil: A Manhattan.
Sam: Manhattan.
Sam: Hold on a second. Phil, what do you drink?
Phil: A Manhattan.
Sam: Manhattan.
Lilith: Excuse me. I have to check my messages.
Carla: You got one from Madame Tussaud. Get back to the museum.
Carla: You got one from Madame Tussaud. Get back to the museum.
Lilith: I don't know how comfortable I feel with this setup. He's just a baby. He needs supervision.
Frasier: Well Sam can take care of him.
Lilith: I'm talking about Sam. You know how out of control he can get at times. What a mess he can make.
Frasier: Sam can clean it up.
Lilith and Frasier: I'm talking about Sam.
Frasier: Darling, it will just be for a few hours.
Lilith: All right but if anything goes wrong he could be scarred for life.
Frasier: You mean Sam, right.
Lilith: Yes and it's a threat.
Frasier: Well Sam can take care of him.
Lilith: I'm talking about Sam. You know how out of control he can get at times. What a mess he can make.
Frasier: Sam can clean it up.
Lilith and Frasier: I'm talking about Sam.
Frasier: Darling, it will just be for a few hours.
Lilith: All right but if anything goes wrong he could be scarred for life.
Frasier: You mean Sam, right.
Lilith: Yes and it's a threat.
Lilith: I think your humor is expressive of a hidden hostility toward Rebecca. Or perhaps deep down you fear she really is capable of taking this bar from you.
Sam: Put a suit on a woman and she thinks she's God.
Lilith: Frasier, are you going to let him talk to me like this?
Frasier: She's also this way when the suit comes off, Sam.
Sam: Put a suit on a woman and she thinks she's God.
Lilith: Frasier, are you going to let him talk to me like this?
Frasier: She's also this way when the suit comes off, Sam.
Lilith: It's a dangerous combination: a karaoke machine and an obsessive personality whose parents used to play Broadway cast albums to drown out their lovemaking.
Norm: I have a new industrial paint sprayer. It gets the job done in a couple of hours.
Cliff: Very clever.
Norm: It was invented by the Japanese so they could paint more efficiently, more quickly.
Frasier: Whereas you will use it to drink more beers, watch more TV, and put off everything until the very last minute.
Norm: Right. You see they're way ahead of us in technology but they don't have our creativity.
Cliff: Very clever.
Norm: It was invented by the Japanese so they could paint more efficiently, more quickly.
Frasier: Whereas you will use it to drink more beers, watch more TV, and put off everything until the very last minute.
Norm: Right. You see they're way ahead of us in technology but they don't have our creativity.
Norm: Your ma's in town?
Cliff: Yup.
Norm: Why don't you pick her up?
Cliff: No, Normie that would set exactly the wrong tone for this visit. I know why she's here. She wants to move back in with me. But she can just forget it. I tell you. She's not going to be running my life like she did when I was in my mid-30s. No siree sir.
Woody: I don't get it, Mr. Clavin. I thought you liked your ma a lot.
Norm: A whole lot.
Frasier: Too much to be healthy really.
Cliff: Yup.
Norm: Why don't you pick her up?
Cliff: No, Normie that would set exactly the wrong tone for this visit. I know why she's here. She wants to move back in with me. But she can just forget it. I tell you. She's not going to be running my life like she did when I was in my mid-30s. No siree sir.
Woody: I don't get it, Mr. Clavin. I thought you liked your ma a lot.
Norm: A whole lot.
Frasier: Too much to be healthy really.
Rebecca: [about the former pool room] It's a tearoom.
Sam: Thanks for not making me guess.
Rebecca: So what do you think?
Sam: You want my honest first impression, my gut reaction?
Rebecca: Yes, I do.
Sam: I hate it. I hate it! I hate it!!
Sam: Thanks for not making me guess.
Rebecca: So what do you think?
Sam: You want my honest first impression, my gut reaction?
Rebecca: Yes, I do.
Sam: I hate it. I hate it! I hate it!!
Rebecca: [from the back room] I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I really need some help. [Paul walks back and comes right back out] Not Paul!
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.