Cheers quotes

515 total quotes



Coach: What's the point of winning if you can't humiliate the other team?

Coach: What's your most troublesome problem, Norm?
Norm: Well that's tough to say, Coach. Let's see I'm overweight, unemployed, separated, depressed, starting to drink too much. My problem is I've never been happier.

Coach: Would you like a beer, Norm?
Norm: I'd like to see something in a size 54 sudzy.

Coach:[about War and Peace] Forget it Sam, no one can read four ounces a day.

Diane: [about Andy Andy] We, mostly I, can save this man's life.

Diane: [to Sam] When I and everyone else in the world say I love you, we are opening up the very core of our being. When you say it, you're just clearing your throat.

Diane: Coach has lost his sweet disposition. he's turned into a tyrant.
Sam: Yeah, but he's winning Diane and winning is the most important thing here.
Diane: Well, I don't think winning is the most important thing here.
Sam: Well good then, you won't mind losing this argument.
Diane: Over my dead body.
Sam: Hey, don't bring last night into this.

Diane: Coach, come on. You have to find a way to put this behind you. Angela and T-Bone are both in heaven now.
Norm: Let's hope he's not hitting on her up there.

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.
Sam: Speaking of fat, braying asses, you're about to get dumped on yours.
[Diane slaps Sam, he slaps her back]
Diane: How dare you slap me!
[Diane slaps Sam again, he slaps her back again]
Diane: Don't you ever hit me again!
Sam: Like hell.
[They carry on slapping each other]
Season 3

Diane: I thought you were seeing someone.
Carla: His fingerprints grew back. He had to leave the country.

Diane: Oh my God Sam, I've made you a babbling idiot.
Sam: Who are you calling a babbling idiot?
Diane: You don't have to get upset. I'm actually criticizing myself.
Sam: You just called me a babbling idiot and you're criticizing yourself? Do me a favor let me criticize me for awhile. You're sickening.

Diane: Sam, if brains were money you'd have to take out a loan for a cup of coffee.

Diane: You didn't shave.
Sam: Oh no no. I needed a new place to scratch.

Diane: You know Cliff, if it's true that a little knowledge is dangerous, you are a walking time bomb.

Diane: You've been with a lot of women.
Sam: No, I have not. There have not been that many women. I just exaggerated here in the bar. There have not been that many.
Diane: How many have there been?
Sam: Oh, I don't know. Maybe four hun-- [Diane gasps] Honeys. Honeys. Four honeys.