Gino: [comes up behind Rebecca] Hey, there. Remember me?
Rebecca: Yes, I do. You're Carla's son, Gino. And I did not appreciate the nude photos of yourself that you sent.
Gino: You know, it's the best I could do with the machine at the mall.
Rebecca: Gino, would you forget about it. I'm not going to go out with you. You're much too young for me.
Gino: Yeah, right. Cu-Cu-Ca-Chu, Miss Howe.

Guy: You must have a high threshold for pain.
Coach: I don't know the meaning of the word.
Guy: Pretty tough guy there, huh?
Norm: No, no he doesn't know what threshold means.

Henderson: Do you have a Clavin here?
Carla: Yeah, but it hasn't been flushing right lately.

Henri: Are you ready?
Woody: Yeah I just shaved. How does my face look?
Henri: As smooth as your girlfriend Kelly's bottom.
Woody: Is that a joke?
Henri: But of course it is. You have to shave much closer.

Henri: I am being kicked out. Just because I am not a citizen and I have no job and I have no prospect for a job and I have no wish for a job.
Norm: Wait a minute. They can kick you out for that?
Sam: No, no relax. You were born here.
Norm: God bless America.

Henri: I win? France has won! France has won!
Frasier: There's something you never hear.

Hester Crane: [referring to Diane] I understand you used to date that woman.
Sam: That's right.
Hester: How much would it take to start things up again?
Sam: You don't have enough money.
Hester: How do you know?
Sam: There isn't enough money.

Holly Matheson: [interviewing candidate Woody] So what you're saying is there are no easy answers.
Woody: Well, not for me there aren't.

Janet: Since things are over between you and Diane, I wonder why she still continues to work here.
Sam: She's gotta work someplace.
Janet: She owe you money that's she trying to work off?
Sam: No.
Janet: Would you lose customers if she leave?
Sam: No. As a matter of fact, I'd probably get a few back if I did let her go.

John Allen Hill: Ah, Miss Tortelli... is that a new hairdo, or did someone toss a toaster in your bathtub? What am I saying - what would you be doing in a bathtub?
Carla: Cleaning you out of the drain.
John Allen Hill: Yeasty oil slick!
Carla: Bladder polyp!
John Allen Hill: Man witch!
Carla: Perverted goat boy!
John Allen Hill: Sluttish mole!
Carla: Seven o'clock tonight?
John Allen Hill: Make it 6:30.

John Hill: For the next three hours I need you and the rest of the Cheers' chimps to hold down the noise. Right now I'm entertaining 200 elderly women from the Daughters of the American Revolution.
Sam: Givin' ‘em a first-hand account, John?
John Hill: Very amusing. Sam, this vent connects directly to my dining room and often we can hear everything you say down here. So tell your mailman to go to that side of the bar if he wants to describe his fungal infections.
Norm: You know, I have to second that.

John Hill: My hat check girl is missing from her post. You haven't perchance seen her?
Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault. Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of your employees. You know that really ticks me off.
[A girl comes out of Sam's office]
Miss Kenderson: Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up.

Kelly: Oh hi. I hope I'm not too late. I heard my boyfriend was coming here to fight that nice bartender.
Carla: Fight? I've had sneezes that lasted longer.

Kelly: Woody, we've got to be going.
Woody: Right. [to Sam] If James has to circle the block more than once he has a hissy fit.
Kelly: Boy. Chauffeurs, huh, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Oh, yeah. I have that trouble with mine all the time.
Kelly: Really? What do you do?
Rebecca: I wake up.

Kevin Fogerty: Maybe we need someone to blame. Maybe if we pick some faceless person at city hall to be responsible for all our problems then we won't have to accept any responsibility at all. Well, people, I say now is the time to start looking in the mirror. Because... if this thing is going to work, we are all going to have to make it work. The way a bunch of people made something work at Lexington and Concord. You may remember it... it's called AMERICA.
[The bar patrons applaud & cheer; Fogerty leaves]
Frasier: But he didn't SAY anything! Thank you, people, for proving my point. The voters of Boston are sheep.
Woody: Wow, I thought that was just a Hanover thing.
Frasier: Look, all I'm saying is that when it comes to voting, people just shut off their brains. I submit we could put a chimpanzee on the ballot and garner ten-percent of the vote.
Woody: Ho ho. Two Hanover things in one day!