Married... with Children quotes
396 total quotesAll Seasons
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[Peg, Kelly and Bud are in search for Al's money.]
Peg: I'll check his underwear. After all, he has only one pair. Now, Bud, you take the closet.
Kelly: Appropriate for you, Bud.
Peg: And Kelly, honey, you take the back seat of the car.
Bud: Appropriate for you, Kel.
Peg: I'll check his underwear. After all, he has only one pair. Now, Bud, you take the closet.
Kelly: Appropriate for you, Bud.
Peg: And Kelly, honey, you take the back seat of the car.
Bud: Appropriate for you, Kel.
[Steve has just asked Al for a favor.]
Al: What? Grab your wife's legs and make a wish.
[Marcy is offended and stands up to try to strangle Al.]
Al: What? Grab your wife's legs and make a wish.
[Marcy is offended and stands up to try to strangle Al.]
[The radio plays during a view of the empty Bundy household.]
Announcer: And on a local note, tragedy was narrowly averted moments ago, when a sobbing woman and her two hysterical children were talked down from a ledge on the Sears Tower. It's believed to be the first family suicide attempt in Chicago history. The woman was quoted as sobbing, "Shoes! He sells shoes!"
[Al enters the house.]
Al: I'm home!
Announcer: And on a local note, tragedy was narrowly averted moments ago, when a sobbing woman and her two hysterical children were talked down from a ledge on the Sears Tower. It's believed to be the first family suicide attempt in Chicago history. The woman was quoted as sobbing, "Shoes! He sells shoes!"
[Al enters the house.]
Al: I'm home!
[Two time MVP Frank Thomas spins newspapers.]
Frank Thomas: Can I have a break now?
Manager: No.
Frank Thomas:[grabs a bat.] Can I have a break now!
Manager: Ab... Absolutely.
Frank Thomas: Can I have a break now?
Manager: No.
Frank Thomas:[grabs a bat.] Can I have a break now!
Manager: Ab... Absolutely.
[While watching television, a pregnant Peg turns to Al as he comes home looking similar to Simeon Pathetica.]
Announcer: Note the stoop shoulders and the dull blank look.
Peg: Can I have your autograph.
Announcer: Note the stoop shoulders and the dull blank look.
Peg: Can I have your autograph.
[The Dodge stops at Springfield on a map]
Gas Station Attendant: Fill 'er up, sir?
Al: Nope. Making a delivery.
[Toilet flushes]
[The Dodge then stops at Nashville]
[Someone not speaking English]
Al: Yeah, whatever.
[Toilet flushes again]
[The Dodge then stops in Altanta]
Announcer: And the Atlanta Braves take the field.
[The toilet flushes for a third time]
Gas Station Attendant: Fill 'er up, sir?
Al: Nope. Making a delivery.
[Toilet flushes]
[The Dodge then stops at Nashville]
[Someone not speaking English]
Al: Yeah, whatever.
[Toilet flushes again]
[The Dodge then stops in Altanta]
Announcer: And the Atlanta Braves take the field.
[The toilet flushes for a third time]