Frasier: You know it just isn't fair. I came because I wanted to be one of the guys and all I'm doing is sitting on my duff watching other people do things.
Norm: Welcome to NormWorld. Keep your hands inside the car at all times.

Lilith: Oh doctor, thank God I felt so isolated here. I guess I had false labor. I'm just so terribly embarrassed because I'm a doctor myself. I was so sure this was the real thing. Not to mention the fact that I was sure I was going to be a mother today. Now I have to go on waiting. I need someone to talk me though this and please please tell me what to do.
Doctor: False labor. Go home.

Lilith: Well kudos to Carla. It's healthy after a time to curtail one's grieving and recommence interest in the opposite sex. I know if my Frasier were taken from me in an unforeseen tragedy I would certainly date again after an acceptable period of bereavement.
Frasier: That gives me a warm fuzzy.
Lilith: There'd be no sense in being overly emotional, darling. You'd be dead and rotting in a box.
Frasier: Woody, can I have another beer and would you check on the robot over there and check if it's thirsty.
Woody: Hey Dr. Crane, that's your wife. Don't talk about her like that. What can I get you Dr. Sternin-Crane? Another quart of Valvoline?
Lilith: Oh won't you people stop it? I am not a robot!

Margaret: The men up in Canada well they just don't compare to you. They're just pale pathetic imitations of you, Cliff.
Carla: Boy that must be one butt ugly country.

Norm: I'm sorry, I've never hired anyone before, I wouldn't know what to ask.
Rudy: Okay, but while you're thinking about it, let me buy you a beer.
Norm: You're hired!

Norm: It looks like you'll have to bury the auditor in paperwork. Get your hands on all your receipts, if you don't have them, make them up
Carla: That's illegal
Norm: Okay, if you don't wanna...
Carla: No, the kids will love it! We'll make it a family project!

Norm: Today I had to choose between two really great jobs. Couldn't make up my mind.
Woody: What'd you do?
Norm: I skipped them both and came in here. I think I made the right choice.

Norm: Well I guess I better go call Vera back.
Cliff: What are you talking about? She didn't call.
Norm: Yes, she did. Yesterday. Something about a flat tire, interstate. What the hell's the number of that call box?

Norm: Well I have to say the mechanical bull is like the most useless thing put in a bar.
Cliff: Now, Norm.
Norm: Present company excepted.

Norm: Women. You can't live with them...pass the beer nuts.

Norm: [Rebecca's] taken to replacing the beer nuts to these little candy hearts that say "Hold me," "I'm yours," "Lovey dovey." Hey "Free beer."
Woody: Oh no Mr. Peterson, you fooled me once.

Rebecca: I cannot believe that Robin would use me like this.
Sam: Yeah I know. He seems like such a decent guy. It's not like he ever, you know, cheated on any of your friends on a business deal. No, no actually he did, didn't he? Well at least you never caught him with another woman. Oh shoot that happened too. Well maybe this is the very last bad thing he does. Yeah that's it.
Rebecca: Gee Sam, you think so?

Rebecca: I love [Robin] and I'm just about ready to lose him. Have you ever thought what it would be like to be without Vera for 20 years?
Norm: Oh my God.
Rebecca: See you'd miss Vera.
Norm: I thought you said beer.
Season 9

Rebecca: I want you to tell me straight. How good are your kids at breaking and entering anyway? And do not brag about them just because you're their mother.
Carla: Well that depends, what kind of system are we talking about here?
Rebecca: It's a Triton 5000 Sonic with laser beams.
Carla: They're not that good. But feel free to call if you're ever trapped in a late model car. They'll have you and the radio out in 60 seconds.

Rebecca: Oh Frasier, Lilith excuse me. I know you're probably on your way somewhere.
Lilith: Yes, we are.
Frasier: But when aren't we?
Rebecca: It's just that I have this really bad problem. It's getting so bad that I can't even sleep at night.
Frasier: Well I'm sorry Rebecca, we do have this important lunch.
Rebecca: You see I've been having these erotic dreams.
Frasier: Well lunch be damned! Our friend is in need.