Diane: [about Jack Dalton] There's not much to say. He's a man I dated a bit in Europe.
Woody: Was that before or after you dumped Dr. Crane and sent him into an alcoholic tailspin?
Diane: After.
Frasier: How long after?
Diane: Days.

Diane: [about Sam] I think he might be hurt by this liaison with Janet Eldridge.
Carla: Yeah you're right. He's havin' a lot of laughs and a hot time with a beautiful woman. The man is a glutton for punishment.

Diane: [After Thompkins steals Norm's proposal to the Board of Directors] Now now, Norman, you can't let this faze you, all right? You have to keep pushing. I know that this idea didn't succeed, but others will.
Norm: No no, Diane. Look, a few minutes ago, I almost made the biggest mistake of my professional life and it was because I was doing something that just wasn't me. I am not a go-getter, I've never been a go-getter, what's more, I don't even want to be a go-getter. I'm very happy right where I am. I'm so sick of all these people saying "Peterson, you gotta push", "You gotta get ahead", "You gotta make that goal". I don't even want to make the goal, Diane. I want to be a bench warmer. The world needs bench warmers. If there were no bench warmers, what would we have? Cold benches. A lot of cold benches and the world does not need that. You know something, I'm very happy with being an anonymous cog in this field of work.
Diane: Norman, I've never seen you so impassioned like this before.
Norm: That's because I believe in this, Diane. I'll tell you something else, Norm Peterson may be a motionless lump, but he's a damn good one.

Diane: [talking about how Sam was able to make the beer slide around the corner of the bar] Okay, how do you do it?
Sam: Well it's just one of my two hidden talents. The other one is just as impressive.
Diane: But you can hardly charge a buck for it.

Diane: [to Sam] When I and everyone else in the world say I love you, we are opening up the very core of our being. When you say it, you're just clearing your throat.

Diane: [to Woody] What's new in your life?
Woody: Oh, well, you know, I, uh, got married and I'm gonna have a kid.
Diane: Wonderful.
Woody: Yeah. Oh, I just got elected to the Boston City Council.
Diane: [amazed, in disbelief] How nice. And I'm next in line for the throne of England.
Woody: Well, you know, maybe we'll work together someday... hammer out a treaty or somethin'.

Diane: [watching her video] All my life I wanted to dance so badly!
Norm: Looks like you got your wish.

Diane: Bennett Ludlow is a wonderful catch.
Carla: There's some things he doesn't know about me.
Diane: Well a little mystery is good for a marriage. What haven't you told him?
Carla: Well I haven't been completely honest about my kids.
Diane: What haven't you told him about your kids?
Carla: That they live.

Diane: Carla, I don't think you should be engaging in strenuous activity when you're with child.
Carla: If I didn't do things with child, I'd never leave the house. The only thing I ever did without child resulted in one.

Diane: Coach has lost his sweet disposition. he's turned into a tyrant.
Sam: Yeah, but he's winning Diane and winning is the most important thing here.
Diane: Well, I don't think winning is the most important thing here.
Sam: Well good then, you won't mind losing this argument.
Diane: Over my dead body.
Sam: Hey, don't bring last night into this.

Diane: Coach, come on. You have to find a way to put this behind you. Angela and T-Bone are both in heaven now.
Norm: Let's hope he's not hitting on her up there.

Diane: Coach, do you think I'm a smart person?
Coach: You're the smartest person I ever met.
Diane: Well, I, Diane Chambers, bred and educated to walk with kings, once offered a full scholarship to the Sorbonne, have allowed myself to become attracted to a six foot three inch bubble gum card.
Coach: Well gee, I think I can help you out with the sore buns Diane, but...the rest of what you say is all over my head!

Diane: Dennis Kaufman is a brilliant puppeteer. He does a wonderful Punch & Judy.
Carla: He better have a wonderful punch, if he's going to dress like Judy.

Diane: Did you ever have a pet?
Coach: You mean like an animal?

Diane: Do this for me and I'll owe you a big big favor. That doesn't involve sex, sex, or sex.
Sam: How about sex?
Diane: Or sex.