Cheers quotes

515 total quotes



Cliff: As a business man you really have a lot to be desired. You know you haven't had a job in three months.
Norm: Cliff, you're absolutely right. I could do something about that or I can sit right here and feel sorry for myself and nurse this beer all day. Since I'm already here...

Cliff: As a rule your psycho killers don't have families. They're loners. They may have jobs. They're good to their mothers. By and large they sit alone at night in a dark room writing their depraved thoughts in a diary.
Norm: Cliffie, you keep a diary, don't you?
Cliff: I keep a journal, Norm. A journal.

Cliff: As long as I'm carrying this bag there's one thing that will never touch these lips.
Carla: You mean there's something that wants to?

Cliff: Carla made love to a PhD from MIT?
Coach: Hey look you guys, if you can't say it in front of me don't say it at all.

Cliff: Check out Mr. Evan Drake over there acting like he owns the place, huh. Thinks he's just some big shot corporate executive.
Frasier: Well actually Cliff if it helps to alleviate this envy that seems to be eating you up right now studies have shown that rich people are 40 to 50% less happy than most of us.
Sam: Oh come on. That's a crock.
Frasier: Of course it is. But we have to cling to it, don't we?

Cliff: Come on Diane. She's your ma. She carried you for nine months.
Diane: Eight, I was premature.
Carla: Couldn't wait to get out and start yappin'.

Cliff: Hey Normy. You ever feel like we're getting in a rut here?
Norm: What do you mean Cliff?
Cliff: I mean we come in the same bar, sit in the same stools, drink beer night after night. I mean there's gotta be something more to life.
Norm: Cliffie, for the last time, I am not changing bar stools with you.

Cliff: How's married life treatin' ya? Quite a change, huh?
Frasier: Well you know Lilith and I did live together a year before we wed so other than the fact that I now see it stretching endlessly before me until I lie rotting in the grave, there's no real difference.

Cliff: I hate answering machines. I never know what to say to them.
Carla: Gee and you're such a whiz with people.

Cliff: I have impossibly high standards for a woman.
Norm: She has to like you, right?

Cliff: I'll go with you I know CPR.
Norm: I'll go, I'm a CPA.

Cliff: I'm Cliff Clavin from Boston, I wrote tonight's monologue.
Lady: Oh, so you know Johnny?
Cliff: Does anyone really know Johnny?

Cliff: If I wasn't wearing this uniform, I'd ask you to step outside.
Norm: If you weren't wearing that uniform, we'd all step outside.

Cliff: It doesn't seem fair, does it Norm?
Norm: What?
Cliff: Well that I should have so much knowledge when there are people in the world that have to go to bed stupid every night.

Cliff: It's sad to say that kids unaccepted by their peers really never learn how to get along with people in the big grown up world.
Norm: Why is that, Cliff? 'Cause they keep boring everyone an driving them crazy with long speeches filled with meaningless statistics?
Cliff: Yep! 63% of them live lives of quiet desperation.
Norm: How about those who sit next to them?