Cheers quotes

515 total quotes



Sam: I'll tell you something else I haven't had much experience: saying 'No' to women. The closest I've come is 'Not now, we're landing.'

Sam: I'm not ready to own a home. You got to work up to that.
Norm: Sammy's right. It's a big responsibility. You got lawns to mow. You got plumbing to fix, gutters to clean. Then every couple of years you've got to paint the entire thing from top to bottom. Honestly I don't know where Vera gets the energy.
Frasier: Norm, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Norm: Yeah, I guess I should, shouldn't I? Well thank God I'm not.

Sam: I'm Sam Malone by the way.
Henri: Oh! I've heard about you in France.
Sam: Oh, you follow baseball?
Henri: No. Stewardesses.

Sam: I'm sittin' at a table in this restaurant with Judy and Laurie. The mother reaches over and grabs my knees and says "Sam, I want you." Then I feel the daughter reach over and grabs the other knee and she says "I want you too, Sammy."
Norm: Well yeah yeah.
Sam: Then I woke up. You know what this dream means don't you?
Norm: It means you even dream better than we do.

Sam: Is there anything I can do?
Diane: No. This problem is strictly between myself and Frasier Crane. Suffice to say, he insists on making mountains out of molehills.
Carla: He wants you to wear a padded bra?

Sam: Isn't it interesting that I automatically spring to mind?
Diane: No. You automatically spring to mind whenever I hear something stupid.

Sam: It's a sad world we live in when Sam Malone becomes the voice of reason.

Sam: Let me see here, Rebecca Howe all alone and scared in a big old house. Sounds to me like a job for Sammy's Security Company, we get in before the burglars do!
Carla: That's what I like about you Sam; your pants are always thinkin'.

Sam: Listen Anthony, I know you like Annie a lot.
Anthony: No, no, I love her.
Sam: Anthony, there's only two times a man uses that word; tennis and when he's already paid for the room, you know what I mean.

Sam: Listen before you came to work at this bar I never thought that much about morality and integrity. You made me aware of all that stuff for the first time.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.
Sam: That's why I'm firing you. You can leave your apron right there on the counter.

Sam: Listen I think you and Derek will make a great match.
Diane: Really?
Sam: Yeah, you both think you're perfect and one of you is right.

Sam: Listen to me. I'm sincere about this, I like you two and I want to see you both happy.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.
Sam: After all just because the two of us didn't travel well-
Diane: When did we ever travel?
Sam: Are you kidding me? We went through hell together.
Diane: Well it helps that you knew the language.

Sam: My life isn't fun anymore. It's because of you.
Diane: Because of me?
Sam: Yeah, you're a snob.
Diane: A snob!
Sam: Yeah, that's right.
Diane: Well, you're a rapidly aging adolescent.
Sam: Well I would rather be that than a snob.
Diane: Well I would rather be a snob.
Sam: Good because you are.

Sam: On this day in Boston's History? Yeah so they run this column every day. It tells you what happened 10 years ago, 50 years ago. What are we looking for? The last time she [Rebecca] had sex?
Carla: No no no, this only goes back 100 years.
Rebecca: Why are you all so interested in my sex life?
Sam: Somebody has to be.

Sam: Rebecca and Robin started making out in the back of the limo. So I offered to do the gentlemanly thing.
Cliff: What's that?
Sam: Let them dump me out on the railroad tracks.
Carla: Oh man. That Colcord is a real jerk.
Sam: Yeah, he just pulled over and let me out.
Carla: He stopped the car? So what are you whining about?